i wonder if it's possible for a major integral mindset that has accompanied me for the past 19 years of my life to be an absolute farce, an absolute lie afterall. havent realised till it hit me today as i was randomly musing on things, that i take for granted that just as long i put in the effort, success or its equivalent will be bound to follow.

when you've been told repeatedly since young that you can achieve anything and everyth you put yr mind to, and when it has always seemed to be the case, i guess it gets bewildering when hey! you suddenly realise that maybe effort's not a direct 1 on 1 function mapping straight to perfection.

ahhh maybe all along since pri sch sec sch jc, i've been too used to idk doing well enough that the realisation that sometimes, maybe, no matter how hard i may try or think i've done my best, there's an ultimate asymptote that i cant ever cross. was just talking to m the other day that maybe the whole shizz on ra-ra and hwachie is that they school into us the mindset that we can do ANYTH and EVERYTH and the world's ours for the taking and we believe and MAYBE that's not really the case?

oh i do wish i was smarter sometimes! *echoes jukie* haha