Can You take me by the hand
Can You use me as I am
Break me into who You want me to be

When the time is finally right
Will You open up my eyes
Show me everything You want me to see

:)

when the stress starts setting in, the pseudo-panicky mode threatens to set in and i look at the mounting work and think WHERE HAVE ALL THE WORK IVE DONE THIS SEM GONE TO??? You quieten my heart, You hold me, You whisper into my heart that i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and i know You'll always be in control

i stray, i fall, i break, but Lord, You never let me go. help me

:)

ANNE OH ANNE OH ANNE OH ANNE OH ANNE OH!!!!!!!

i'll tell you just what you mean to me
i'll tell you these simple truths;

be strong in the Lord and
never give up hope;
you're gonna do great things,
i already know :)
God's got His hand on you,
so don't live life in fear
forgive and forget
but don't forget why you're here

:)

and so we all dream of
sunny skies and rainbows threading through clouds scarfing through the air
and of how the whole world fades and only two matter;
each to the other
of shared laughter and locked-in gazes
and your own happily ever after

we're all created in the image of God, who is Love Himself. no wonder this unceasing unrelenting search that all of humankind has for the very epitome of love.
-

LOVE CHONGZ VIVI NETTE!! <3 we all wanna escape from the new world of uni and go back to being childish innocent slap-happy pinafore-clad girls who'll have luoye dances and potatopillowfights and thought we were invincible just because our world only consisted of orchard, home, love and daydreams

staying on campus comes with the double-edged sword of obligations and necessities. and i realise after today, once again, that while teasing and making fun of others have their own right in pure good-humoured, good-natured fun, there're boundaries as well. and it rankles within the soul when others rib you about being too trusting and too gullible. so it's wrong that i actually trust what you say? after which you laugh in my face and call me guileless;

i think i'm actually quite angry. >:(

it's amazing, it's wonderful how God uses the lowest points in our lifes and can turn them around to glorify His name and really strengthen us in faith. i never really truly understood the nuance of Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 12, "for when i am weak, then i am strong" and that God's grace is sufficient for us and that His power is made perfect in weakness.

strength when i'm weak, when i've fallen time and time again. fallen so short of God's standards, it is then when one is broken that you'll really understand what the grace of God is. it is only then when all strength is exhausted, that i'm willing to finally see that i'm inadequate, that only God is adequate. it is when i'm broken, that i'll truly yield myself to His Spirit. and i'm glad He's drawn me back, to show me that the Author and Perfector of my faith is still continuing a good work in me. (:

i havent written in my journal in a long time and when i read it again today, i realised that i've actually forgotten alot of the truths that i've learnt over all the tumultuous experiences that God is brought me to, and most faithfully brought me THROUGH.

a good reminder was to LIVE FOR GOD and not for people. that it shouldnt' concern my heart as much what others thought of me, but more importantly what God thinks of me. that it doesn't matter so much what the world thinks, cause they'll never truly know my heart. everyone has a standard to emulate, a higher threshold of goodness they believe in. but even if i conformed to what others define as good and obtain their approval, does it necessarily mean it is completely, entirely, most-assuredly good? only in the standards of God will there be full confidence placed and for too long, i've forgotten what the verse of that song means. Jesus, my heart must know i'm pleasing to You

Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. ... And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. 2 colossians 3:12-14, 17

:)

these photos always make me laugh! hahahahaha especially when i toggle between the two HAHAHHA.

here's one dearly loved person whom i know will always love me, understand my crazy jokes, make me laugh, fight with me and still know that she'll never leave me nor i her <3

treasure those you have in your life (:

and i was just very lazily pondering about phases of life and i realised, too many times, we're either missing the past too much or too impatiently waiting for the future. so it's not so much the here and now, but the then and after. which brought me back to my rainbow theory again! haha. and i've decided, good times or bad, heartache or heartflight, i'll savour each moment, every second of being alive, of being able to feel. (:

isn't this such a cute book! :D i saw it on big daddy weaves' fb status and awww. haha so i went to find out more about it.

All children want reassurance that their parents' love runs wide and deep. In Guess How Much I Love You, a young rabbit named Little Nutbrown Hare thinks he's found a way to measure the boundaries of love. In a heartwarming twist on the "I-can-do-anything-you-can-do-better" theme, Little Nutbrown Hare goes through a series of declarations regarding the breadth of his love for Big Nutbrown Hare. But even when his feelings stretch as long as his arms, or as high as his hops, Little Nutbrown Hare is fondly one-upped by the elder rabbit's more expansive love.

aww. indeed, love is such a force that cannot be encapsulated with words nor can it truly be understood until experienced.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19

:)

numb. and i think i'm going to come back crying.

just typed out a WHOLEEE bunch of stuff about bygone issues that only chose to surface now. but dear Lord, i commit them all into your hands, to wipe away all bitterness, all indignance and to have Your love and strength to really forgive and forget. (:

it's hard. but now i'm trying to really put the fruits of the Spirit into action, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfullness, gentleness and self-control. (: and these few days, i'm focusing on love. to love others as God has first loved us. when we were so unlovable, God loved us. what mighty Love that is, and i pray I'll learn to walk in His footsteps (:

give my _____ back to me

when you suddenly feel your heart plummet into your shoes
like you're on a lift to nowhere
-
to cryptically quote avril-
what's wrong with my tongue
these words keep slipping away

-

stupid tearducts i command you to STOP

STOP being a baby joannechanguaycheng

i'm so thankful for how God has walked me through the past 20 years, for all the highs and lows, for blessing me so wonderfully, for sending so much love my way and touching my life with sunshine every waking moment. (:

i'm not going to be exhibionistic and talk about every single thing that has happened haha. come to think of it, this is quite the anti-thesis of a blog. somehow announcing all the details of my calendar out on a webspace just unsettles me haha. blame it on the techno-dino that just refuses to blow away along with the last vestiges of my teens.

but i'm supremely thankful for everything, so so so so so so happy and loved and blessed (:

i know! i shall allow that one bit of vain exhibitionism, i'll post photos of bday lunchie! with daddy and mumu and meimei at say cheeze! :D soon. haha lazy to upload HAHA old alr la HAHA

i think i pendulum between peaks and troughs of highs and lows. and i still cant decide if that's a good or bad thing. the smallest things, like thinking of ham sandwich for breakfast can make me feel like skipping around the house in absolute glee, yet the most trivial of matters like a slight nuance of words can also send dark clouds thundering at my temples. dear Lord, i put my emotions and my heart into Your hands (:

i hate being so busy i hate being so busy i hate being so busy.

maybe im just pms-ing hah

i think.. i think... i may just abhor the obligations of fb haha. who the pongs has the time to stay on fb and reply msges so fast?!

and pongss i'm mildly miffed. pfft. roar. i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i couldn't make it. but i still reserve my right to say no. because sometimes saying no, just means i've priorities elsewhere.

good thing not many ppl know about this little webspace.

I'M TWENTEEN :O i'm aghast. haha. but i'm even more aghast at rhaps. or petrified would be a better word.

this was meant to be a slaphappy thanksgiving post on all the lurbex i'm so thankful for! and how i'm so thankful for every single one who's made this year's triple happiness multiply many folds over (: but that'll have to wait since..

RHAPSSSSSSSSSSS

ahhh!! i'm flipping out about rhaps. please dear God, please please take control and help us find favour with osa and get it all properly perfectly done!

i hate waking up in the mornings from a horrible nightmare. it's not so much the nightmare itself, cause i barely remember it at all. sometimes i dont think i dream in details, or even in visuals, i think i dream in emotions. a whirling kaleidoscope of flitting emotions. and whenever this happens, it always makes me feel so drained. and so disoriented, like i'm still toeing the line between the ephemeral and the tangible.

it's like somehow all the dna that makes me me, scrambles itself up and i'm coming to terms with a whole new person. ohmy this borders on schizo doesnt it hah.

but thank God for soothing mornings, and cleansing early morning smells. i just sat at my window and really watched the clouds roll by, let the sounds of the morning bustle wash around me but not touch me. sitting cocooned in my own reverie.

and i think my dream had shreds of ./a.out from CS. no wonder i felt so strange. OH CS YOU PIG TO TRESPASS INTO MY SLUMBER.

and ooh. the skies suddenly burst into morning colours. was like a switch suddenly being thrown by God (: and i commit this day unto Him (:

to grow in purity and uprightness (:

private entries tucked into an obscure corner of the entire blogsmos ftw