i think i've been living in my own little happy bubble for too long. it's as though the more i try to shut out the ugliness of the world, the pain and unhappiness of the countless souls passing through this life, the more i become oblivious to the needs outside my bubble.

like seriously, when's the last time you, or i for that matter, have done something, just for the sake of someone else, even though it SCARED YOU TO THE VERY DEPTHS OF YOUR SOUL to just be bold and do it. i've always been telling myself to pray for others, but when the exams loom, i feel so insignificant offering to pray for them. such cowardice that its almost repulsive.

and you know the busker in the udnerground link? how many times have i just walked past him and KNEW that if only i would just stop to say a little word or two, it'll brighten up my day a million times more than it would make his. how many times have i thought that, but FAILED time and time again to ever venture close?

sometimes the amount of careless words that we may speak is astoundingly frightening. and the friends whom you feel so carefree with, you actually feel so powerless, so timid to break the mould. freidnship, when it realy boils down to it, isn't just the feel goodness of it although yes, it's one of God's nicest gifts :D but it's the really small actions, the word or two that reallyREALLY show you care. it's when no one's looking and the spotlight no longer shines on a little dusty corner where a friend is hiding that you go out of the light and into the darkness and THEN create your own glow.

let the world mock me, let them think i'm weird, let them think it's abnormal for a girl to go against the flow and stop in the middle of an underground passage. but dear Lord, let me be brave, let me be the sunbeam you've always planned for me to be.

Jesus wants me for a sunbeam, to shine for Him each day
in every way try to please Him, at home, at school, at play
a sunbeam, a sunbeam, Jesus wants me for a sunbeam
a sunbeam, a sunbeam,
i'll be a sunbeam for Him

-anne