yesterday was brilliant! i love church and everyone from redbloodcell, even though yesterday ALL THE GIRLS pangseh-ed me and i was the only girl at cell and they BULLY me! say i'm half-guy now HAHA. I'M SURE. :D then testerday's quiet time was THE BEST in ages, i just spent time i prayer, just praying for those i love, for them to grow closer to God, to get to know God on a more intimate level. and i just felt so at peace with the whole world, and felt so secure, like God was just holding me in the palm of His hands. :)

mm i went to school today with the lightest feeling ever. even though it got clouded over A LITTLE by coughcough a mission i had to do COUGHCOUGH. haha grace and lei! :D

mm then it got REALLY CRUMMY just cause of something. :( and it just shattered my composure for the better part of the day. i don't know why it just seared my heart when i heard those words. and now i know how to refute samphua's claim that i can be half-guy now cause my psyche and a guy's psyche are totallyTOTALLY different. this post could turn out to be really emo and angsty. and i knew i was scribbling away random poems and line after line of hurt, bellying the flood of tears i knew would just spill over if i didn't scribble fast enough.

maybe you think you've got me all figured out, that who i am and what i stand for is just all out there. plain and explicit for you to dissect. and you think you know my intentions behind what i do. and it hurts because i don't think you do. and when i realised the sarcasm embedded in your comment, it was just numbness numbness numbness before the hurt came flooding back.

OKAY i shall stop all the angsting. NOW. even though i want/need an avenue for all these. but i shan't continue. :'( and i really thank God for the people in my life whom i love sososo much, especially pox, lei, grace, tim for today. <3

i realise i need love too

and since i told lei i'd quote her, haha here it is! of the "tall, dark, and not so handsome"

-anne

and i'll just close my eyes, wish you away, and send those words spinning spinning spinning away into nothingness