OH EM GEE.

blogger just ate up my post. i FAINT.

but i feel much better gettign whatever it was off my chest. which was mainly i don't give 2 cents/pennys/farthings over what youyouyouyouyou have as a fixed image of me and i'm just too tired to bother to mesh with youyouyouyouyou when all i feel is just an extinguishing of any originality, wit and repartee. a space that is instantaneously filled with banality. we're just in continual antiphase and i'm too drained, too tired to try and mesh with youyouyouyouyou anymore.

maybe youyouyouyou will one day look beyond this awkward shell. but then again maybe youyouyouyouyou won't.

but who cares! it may hurt, it may sear but.

and i lovelovelove my REDBLOODCELL! who just makes me feel so loved, so happy and so at ease with all the girls AND the guys and ABSOLUTELY everyone. and when we decided to hike back to the interchange after service, we went just nuts singing and talking about randome articles of little interest. (: and sam made me laugh like nothing when he absolutely refused to acknowldge that he knew us and added "ESPECIALLY NOT THAT BANANA INFRONT" -when i was OHSOHAPPILY swinging my tropically-coloured coolios bag all nicely decked out in my yellow tee and jeans and singing (he'll say wailing) along to avril's when you walk away and trying to act angsty.-

hahahahaha it's all amanda's phone's fault. it arrested our common senses and made us bellow along to all the songs. ((:

and all the wodnerful funny things during lunch. it's the small things that matter and the small things that make me feel at ease. when i don't ever have to feel judged or feel like i have to live up to your standards and where i don't ever have to feel like i've failed whatever youyouyouyouyou have set as the passing grade. but i'm just too tired to care or to change whatever state things are right now.

but. God's in His Heaven and He knows well and He knows best. and so i lay it all down and lay at His feet to rest.

-anne