once you've committed yourself to something, you're going to stick to it, no matter what happens. and when someone means so much to you, you end being so sensitive,and add to more hurt, to everyone, to the other party, to yourself.and then when you feel apologetic for being overly-sensitive, you end up irritating someone more and more. and then you realise you don't know how to get out of it. you want the best of both worlds, you become so self-centered, putting your problems in the limelight. when you become so reliant on something, someone, when you commit yourself to something that you've never tried before, to something that means so much to you, you end up feeling so lost too. it's so scary you know, when you can seem to be the most abundantly filled person, the most lucky person on earth, when you can feel so empty and void inside. or when you seem to be having the best of everything, the most joyful presence around, when you just don't know how to say, i'm just another human being too. and when you seem to let down that happy front, you upset others too, they wonder why you're like that now. so do ppl only like you for the bright colours that you paint all the time? what happens when you let them in to see your true colours? what if all along, you've been thinking too much. what if you're just making up all these false silly dumb ridiculous scenarios. and end up thinking so much that you ruin everything. and what if you keep everything inside, will they disappear? is there a way to flush out all unpleasant stuff? it's easy to say there is. i don't know. i'm sorry for everything. i don't even know why i'm sorry for. i don't even know why i'm saying sorry. maybe it's just a childish world i'm living in, and hoping to live in, where things always end up happily ever after.

Pris