there's really a very fine, thin line between love and dislike. haha as coughsomeonehasanalysedcough :] but sometimes i feel this strange tenacity, this elasticity to love infinitely and passionately and to feel so irked to the very depths of my soul. i think i'm just beginning to grasp my own concept of love and obviously i'm not going to try to decipher it here in this great, vast unknown (:
but i've been thinking.
everyone's getting attached leftrightcentreupsidedown and obviously there's the pressure to capitulate. but everytime i feel my heart waver, i feel it try to hop, jump, skip away from me, it's nonetheless reined in by questions that keep me grounded. if i'm as yet unable to fully love God, my friends, my family, my dearest dearest close ones to the extent that they should and they DESERVE to be loved, what gives me the right to think i can love someone else as fiercely and as strongly as what they should truly receive?
precisely, i don't have such liberties. YET. :D but if it's just a headlong blindless plummage into loverland, it's really not the least bit fair to him or to myself. obviously i'll never be perfect enough but it'll work out. in His own special time (((:
so till then! i'll entrust my heart to God and just know that someday OVER THE RAINBOW :D you'll see.
