interjc is tomorrow and the same fear that marked all 4 years of squash trials is back with a vengeance, only perhaps more so now.

i'd better remember to breathe on the field tomorrow or i'll asphyxiate and require the whole team to cart me off the field. which might not be such a bad idea actually! (:

oh please please, i pray backhands and forehands will all be a bliss to execute, there'll be manymanymany chhiis for us to do and that it'll be MUDDY. so it'll be harder for them to run, and it'll be easier for me to cup/mark/poach them. oh yeah oh yeah. :D and that the mud will dry up for me to run easily so they can't cup/mark/poach me easily. oh yeah oh yeah.

my best is all i've got to give, so for what it's worth, let's go raffles ultimate!

OH YEAH OH YEAH! :D

-anne

they always say boys are at an utter loss when girls cry

but what you&you did today more than disproves it

thank you (:

-anne

Its like an ocean breeze blowing on your face
Like a summer sun with its warm embrace
Like a gentle rain plays a symphony
Thats what I want my praise to be
Like a fragrant rose in the early spring
Like an eagle soars when it spreads its wings
Whatever, Lord, You may need from me
That’s what I want my praise to be to You

makes me wanna get up and dancedancedance and freely sing His praise! like at SNOW08 and FOP07060504 :D that's why it's good to have a sister crazier than you, so it doesn't matter when you both start doing little jigs in the bedroom, living room, kitchen. and then you scold each other and beg for the unglamness to stop.



before you start again that is. :D



hmm i think the more things that are happening in my life, the less i feel like blogging about it. which is a good thing! cause it's concretised in my heart and not in my words. which sometimes have a tendency to take on a life of their own and prove so utterly inadequate at capturing the moment.






krazeeone and krazeetoo (:

It's not as sad if we go our separate ways as time takes a toll, and new circles form,
but it's a mishmash of disappointment, and helplessness when you can predict,
you can see right smack in front of you, how some friendships would turn out,
when we all go our separate ways.
Knowing the existence of someone, facing the person for weeks and months,
without ever knowing the person really, then what's the point of knowing
each other in the first place
You say this is more impt now, it's no point salvaging the situation,
it's a pity

People judge you all the time
How much have you adapted to those judgements?
To think twice before saying sth, to keep your thoughts inside,
to tell it to a selected few
But what if even the person you want/feel/think you're the closest to,
makes you feel that way?
You hope to share everything, but you're scared of ruining the impression
that someone has had
Just random thoughts, maybe we always use the word random, so that
if someone thinks what we say is just weird, and 'unacceptable', we can
use that excuse and brush it aside
But what if those thoughts had been inside you for a long long time,
and you wait for the 'right' time to say it
Maybe there's never a right time
Don't grow up swallowing up yourself

i'm tired. of thinking and feeling ache-y. of screwing things up. of feeling the awkwardness. of not having the courage. and maybe, of being too late.

okay 2 lines of emoness are 2 lines too many. let happy pictures do the happy talking!

ONE WORD : YES (:

not to forget the crisps too! yay potato and its many products :D

ahahaha. i want this shirt! threadless.com :D

took a while to udnerstand but SO FUNNY. uh Punny. davidandgoliath.com :Dsounds like a plan.

i had some really deep insightful thoughts on the process of things. and they cheered me up immensely when the dread of non-stop mugging loomed. but i dont feel intellectual enough to expound on them. yet haha. there's a total lack of exclamation points in this. so here's a bunch !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay insert where appropriate

okay byebye

oh well.
-
and faster than you can follow me from this lonely place. and farther than you can find me, I'm leaving
-
i don't think you'll know what's beneath this facade sometimes
-
msn etiquette cuts me down to size sometimes
-
oh look a looker!
-
when you're telling me that i'm the only one who blows your mind
-
nahh they were just crisps
-
torn
-







sigh. dismembered thoughts ftw. ptw.

ticktock goes the clock
i force its hands way back
hoping time would just backtrack
the hands go round and round
changes occur without a sound
3 hours of phonetime dwindle to nought,
back in tangled webs we're caught
seconds become agonising yet weeks crumble to dust
but thirds are certainly a must
you take one hand i take the other
clockwise counterclockwise we're none the wiser
a clap's a resolution yet we don't hear a sound,
cause it takes 2 to tango


but neither turns around.

yay at the stroke of 12mn joanne chan will be a happy girl!

cause her daddy mommy and meimei will be back! (:

spent the past 3 days at pris' house which was thumbsupthumbsupthumbsup! cause we get to have extended girltalks and bestestfriends time (: and nigel crashed our girly fun! :O on the first night where we talked till 2 in the dark and childishly snatched at each others' bed/pillow/bolster/blanket :D and looked at all the cool things at fredflare.com

i'm tired of blogging.

i think what i blog is very boring.

i read also bored, type also bored. BORING! D:

boringboingboringboingboringboing

toodles!

-anne

I AM NOW OFFICIALLY HOME ALONE AND ON MY OWN FOR THE NEXT 3 DAYS

AND I AM SCARED.

IF YOU ARE FREE/CAN SPARE A FEW SECONDS

PLEASE MESSAGE ME TO TELL ME I AM NOT ALL ALONE

I WILL SO NOT SURVIVE IF I GO OVERSEAS NEXT TIME :'(

dear Lord, please get me through this and make me a stronger person.

and the past 2 /3 days were horrendous cause i got drenched by lemuel with a bucket of rainwater, sat in the aircon for 4 hours, moved bunkbeds in the drizzle and alas fell even sicker. like 39degrees sick. ):

okay enough whinging.

joanne chan you are a big girl, not a jellyfish with no backbone. now mop yourself off the ground and try to maintain at least a semblance of dignity.

HAH.

okay to all out there furiously wrestling with tutorials and notes! God bless and jiayou! (:

-anne

and you know what? HAVE A NICE LIFE. you wind me up and made me so confused and now i wash my hands off everything to do with you. kthxbye.

As we grow older, we learn more and more new words, but why is it that we slowly forget how to say the simplest word: NO?

just watched fashion avenue on arts central and zomgosh! i love british accents with their clipped consonants and dulcet tones. and the eclectic fashion collections in madrid with wonderful floaty chiffon dresses and pink-lined tweed suits; a very viable source of escapism from vectors. :D

haha you know i actually LIKE doing math and the exercises but it's already getting so dry (like cookies without milk) and draining (like spaghetti in the salad bowl) and dull (like sunshine kept too long) that i really dont know what's going to happen when i move on to the other subjects like CHEM and HISTORY. zounds. i am currently pouting at the computer. not a pretty sight.

and ah! i wanted to make a list! of the things i want to do/hope to do! a randomly thrown-together list of randomities. i like lists. cause they're so tidy. but i like long rambling reams of words dropping off the edges of pages too. (:

and pongs! i just remembered. my entire family's going away to church retreat next weeeeeekk! entire, meaning i'm the only one left to rattle forlornly in this shell of a house ): i shall go to school and study cause that settles my food for the day. haha cause knowing me, i'll be too lazy, sian and generally unwilling to move more than 10m to go out and get proper food. so how! eat cupnoodles until phat ah! siaooooo. HAHA. hello people go school study okay so i can have people to talk to and eat lunch and dinner with (:

oh yea my list!
- watch my fair lady, singing in the rain and dimsum dollies in the flesh. yay musicals be the love
- sit quietly at changi boardwalk in the wee hours of dawn
- walk around my neighbourhood before everyone wakes up; in the quiet calm before the morning rush
- lie on the sand at the far end of changi beach facing the open sea during twilight
- stand at my bedroom window and yell for as long, as loud, as much as i like
- finish watching goong! goodness i'm still stuck at ep 17
- hike along railway tracks (as in real TRAIN railways not mrt lines HAHA)
- eat my ikea meatballsssss
- esplanade rooftop, listening to baybeats below
- vivo amphi, talking past 10pm :D :D :D come on encore encore!
- i've always had this dream: to be on this rocky precipice, far above sea level and overhanging a caldera filled with clear water. there're frail willow trees and sturdy evergreens daintily dotting the background. i'm on my knees and just in awe of God's creation and i just seem closer to the sky than the ground. and the skies' as blue as the water below.
- TAUHUEY!
- buy the box's whole collection
- viking ship with a whole load of people, screaming whenever we dip and our hearts fly into our mouths
- learn the guitar (:
- overnight biking/blading round-singapore trip
- finally FINISH the cross-stitch i started 6 years ago -.-
- tidy my room! wtp! at this rate i'm going to have to wade through my stuff to go to sleep every night
- go for pottery classes
- go back to ppis ((:
- sit on the bridge near the indoor stadium at night talking rubbish
- read through the entire Bible!

sounds awesome, every single one of them. and what's best is i can do them alone, with my family, with friends, anyone! and it'll still be as brilliant. (:

was going to post wonderful songs that are becoming my earworms but i think this post has WAYYY exceeded normal length. haha k you! stop reading go mug! :D yay i'm being an enabler; i enable you to remember that you should be mugging and not reading!

-anne

SAVE MEEE i dont want to study anymore ): after awesome class cip at sentosa, i've just been floating around the house, nursing the wonderful residual happiness from falling in love with everyone in 6Q.

reallyreally. it's been the best thing/outing i've been to in eons. beats orientation hands down HAHA okay la maybe it can do with some competition from our SUBCOMM :O but yea i think the last time when such an outing just left me feeling so subtly and yet profoundly happy was p6gep. maybe that's cause they both spring from the same source of first love.

yay i want to recount EVERY SINGLE DETAIL so i'll never forget it. but so AA la haha and so exhibitionist. haha my blog post are getting more and more frivolous. pongs.

oh dear here goes the rant. pox! we should ttly switch to livejournal and put lengthy rants under cuts!

dash dash dash out of the house! prep and packing into jayne's super cute bag. fainting when the numbers were altered again thank God for jayne and ronald's expert negotiating skills :D. yay the kids cameeee and my cuteboy told me more gossip about his girlfriend :O break my heart only HAHA. station games! where lei's cuteboy was SO CUTE and kept sliding everywhere on the floor to catch the slippery thing that kept being uh slippery and slipping. the accident of MY CUTE BOY )))))): where sma and i thought the poor kid's eyeball came out or smth cause the bruise swelled up so much >< pray that he's okay now! sentosaaaaa - total wreck of jittery nerves was so worried that something might screw up or smth then cannot go/rain/not enough moolah rarr but thank God everything worked out well yay!

palawan beach where the games comm was just so awesome in getting everything ready (: playedplayedplayed till we feared the onset of rain so hustled them all off to the sheltered area to have waterbreak toiletbreak teabreak. then we preped colourful water bombs! at the scandalous hut :O eww. and reallyreally THANK GOD the skies held up and it was just cooling but no rain so yay had our major water bombing fest. which totally phailzed tactically, cause no one protected the poor white-shirters and everyone just kena bombed no matter what. yay so i protected this small little boy that came up to my waist haha very easy to protect cause i'm so BIG and he's so SMALLL (and cute :D). then my deathstare girl (who happily forgot about death staring me yay) BOMBED ME. wtp! then samsoh LOOMED with his horrible green waterbomb. which wasn't enough apparently cause after that came the PAIL :O haha but very fun la yay poor class shirt though.

then prize presentation! i totally cannot remember all the pokemon names la haha but i rmb someone was telling me this HAHAHAH super funny
siti: richorn! richorn! come richorn!
everybody: ignores siti
some helpful soul: psst. it's RIHORN (or smth la i dont know hahah)
siti: RIHORRRN!
little rihorns come running hahahhahaha.

then we did our dance yay kudos to everyone who learnt the dance within such a short period of time woots. then they did their song item which was so cute; not perfect musically, but it hit all the right notes in everyone's heart (: then we had to part ))))): i miss my #2 and #3 cute boys - danish and zanni ): i almost cried when danish said, so we wont get to see you anymore? and when zanni said, but i'll miss you. oh pongs those guys really know the way to a girl's heart ):

then the dunking began when we were at the buspark haha jukie's photos are the bomb, like the play-by-play of yix's dunking. haha poor birthdayboy! so when we got back grace was being a monkey and climbing the coconut tree then yadayada i cant rmb much. then samsoh tried on my specs and next thing was swoosh the world was pulled from under my feet. but haha oh no the poor guys who tried to lug me to the water, i think almost can DIE la i'm fat and heavy like a beached whale woots. yay everyone was wet like a wet thing and splashy like a splashy thing and happy like a happy thing! but woe to us who didn't bring extra ___________ (HAHA LEI!) ):

yay and the best bit was sitting at vivo's amphi and just talking and laughing with everyone and being so free and happily small in the vast space. so happily inconsequential to the great unknown, but blessedly significant to those who care (:

i think this cip has been one of the best experiences ever. learning to work altogether and deal with the changes and curveballs that life strewns around. unexpectedly falling in love with everyone and every individual person all at the same time yet in perceptibly different ways. and experiencing how the feel of a small hand in mine fits like a key to a lock and how the conversation flows so much more freely between 2 set apart by 10 years than maybe 2 set apart by a mere 3 months or so.

oh love to those who realised, who noticed, who cared (: you know who you are and i thank you with as much heart as this girl can muster (:

-anne

Guys' rules

funny stuff that sounds quite true. i think. i'm not a guy

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports - It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! (haha nazri)

1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

and suddenly, sitting here beyond the magical moments of 11:11, i don't feel up to going for tomorrow's event. i know it'll be great fun because of the company and everything everyone has worked so hard for is coming to fruition. but sometimes, i wonder if i just stay home, probably no one will notice. until maybe someone needs a scissors or something and i was supposed to bring the scissors then oh shoots where is that dumb girl and then maybe they realise i'm not there for 30 seconds.

i'm in a mood now. cause i hate it when i seem to pick vibes up and then i dont know what to do about them. especially when the vibes make me feel like i've done something wrong. but i dont know yet vaguely might know what it is.

who knows? maybe i just wont turn up tomorrow and you wont even realise.

until the scissors are needed, that is.

or i will. and the silly smile that never quite reaches my eyes stays plastered on and raucous laughter spews from these lips and merry-making ensues. but the soul cries. oh it weeps. in recognition.

oh guesswork. why dont you try the below?
<[accidentally]3 lovehate

-anne

thankyou handsome (:

today was so fun!! the adrenaline rush from planning something and seeing all th little nitty gritty details come into fruition and seeing how everyone chips in to help, it's so gratifying and immensely satisfying. maybe i'll go into event planning next time woohooo :D

dance today was YAYNESS made tangible especially with the guys. HAHAHAH if there was someone willing to join me in rolling on the floor with mirth i think the concrete under blk A would be super clean now :D should have asked siti, after all, ROLLING'S HER FORTE :D

was reallyreally awesome to see everyone helping out, coming down despite their busy schedules, learn the not-so-easy dance (omg nigel and his partner who (which?) is really of some STANDard), make a mess out of styrofoam boxes, rehash all our wonderful orientation dancing memories (we should so recruit our subcomm yea XD XD XD), troop down to bedok and get all the loggy logs (thankyou jukie for coming even though you had yr h3 and yix samsoh ronal jayne too!). which reminds me i need to protect the cookies i brought home, my sister WANTED TO TEAR INTO THE BOX AND EAT THEM. :O

oh this is the stuff that holidays are made of! (nay, not dreams hilary) (i think i'm using parentheses too much)

much love and thanks to jayne weixian gohtian lei siti jukie grace xuewei mark yix gabriel ronald samyong samsoh nigel yongjing sisco muhd! really thank you for making time to come down in the midst of crazy trainings and so many other commitments. wednesday's going to be even greater fun (: and after which we delve right back into mugging. :O(

and yay i love this from gilmore girls!
Lorelai: I repeat my question. Why should we date?
Max: Because we're clearly attracted to each other.
Lorelai: Well, I'm attracted to pie. It doesn't mean I feel the need to date pie.
haha hilarious.

oh yay 6Q is love cant wait for fri and wed and thurs! :D

-anne

ignorance is bliss. that's a saying, whether you dispute the validity of it, remains true to me for now. precisely because i'm shutting out what you're trying to tell me that ignorance is not bliss, is itself an act of trying to be ignorant. it really does help. well i might seem like a turkey sticking her head into the sand, pretending the world around me is beautiful and nice, but it's not true. whatever the case, i wish life, relationships, matters could be simpler. no wonder babies are so happy. they hardly know anything. it can be an advice, or something that your close friend tells you. the intention could be good, wanting to help you change, learn, or be more aware, but the effect goes many ways. you can become stronger, change for the better, but deep inside, it was a stab. what makes that knife so sharp, is that it came from someone who meant something to you, someone who was/is close to you. so basically, things have been that way for a long time, it was just never said. it's scary, this feeling of being ignorant.yet precisely because i've learnt about stuff, about me, that i want to return to that blissful stage. you know, when everything really seemed fine. are they jealous of such ignorance? no they're not, continue believing that they have good intentions. i don' tknow, it's such a confusing world.

Pris

THIS IS FOR GRACE. FOR WHEN WE -
- WERE YOUNG AND INNOCENT
- WERE FULL OF NONSENSE
- HAD ALOT OF TIME
- THOUGHT WE WERE VERY KEWL
- WERE STILL ABLE TO WALK TO MRT TOGETHER

okay i shall quit the caps. oh the joys of packing to uncover dusty reams of memories!

i have a d8
at the mark8
we're meeting at the g8
i know it'll be gr8

i was almost l8
because of the jam at j8
the traffic was moving at a snail's r8
and so i w8 and w8

-interlude-

i got myself ready as b8
to ensnare a m8
the problem is not my w8
nor is it my character tr8s

- gr8ce + fatjojoh8d

alright! hahaha this reallyreallyreally made me feel really great. i mean gr8.

love hurts if you're hurt by love

once you've committed yourself to something, you're going to stick to it, no matter what happens. and when someone means so much to you, you end being so sensitive,and add to more hurt, to everyone, to the other party, to yourself.and then when you feel apologetic for being overly-sensitive, you end up irritating someone more and more. and then you realise you don't know how to get out of it. you want the best of both worlds, you become so self-centered, putting your problems in the limelight. when you become so reliant on something, someone, when you commit yourself to something that you've never tried before, to something that means so much to you, you end up feeling so lost too. it's so scary you know, when you can seem to be the most abundantly filled person, the most lucky person on earth, when you can feel so empty and void inside. or when you seem to be having the best of everything, the most joyful presence around, when you just don't know how to say, i'm just another human being too. and when you seem to let down that happy front, you upset others too, they wonder why you're like that now. so do ppl only like you for the bright colours that you paint all the time? what happens when you let them in to see your true colours? what if all along, you've been thinking too much. what if you're just making up all these false silly dumb ridiculous scenarios. and end up thinking so much that you ruin everything. and what if you keep everything inside, will they disappear? is there a way to flush out all unpleasant stuff? it's easy to say there is. i don't know. i'm sorry for everything. i don't even know why i'm sorry for. i don't even know why i'm saying sorry. maybe it's just a childish world i'm living in, and hoping to live in, where things always end up happily ever after.

Pris

dance night was good! but the company was LOVE (: WELLDONE LEIPINGPONGPIANG! (: we all lurbex eu beeg beeg dip dip worhx (: LEH FTW! hahahaha :D