absence makes the heart grow fonder. we always take the people the things the blessings surrounding us for granted. somehow we don't realise that our lives slowly and uknowingly get intertwined with all the things in this world. we find ourselves unable to extricate from the web, a mess if we were to try to pull those things that mean so much to us apart. but amidst that emptiness, the fleeting sense of loss, the foolish human desire to cling on to the last moments, you learn to appreciate what you already have even more. and for some unknown reason, thankfully, and hopefully, the absence never lasts for eternity. the whole cycle repeats itself in your life all the time, but we never learn to get over it, we simply yearn for that missing link once more. you spend so much time mulling over it, is it worth while? is it worth the time, the silly silent tears, the worries? at least one thing you gain from this: the missing gem's worth echoes much louder with its absence.

Pris

how far does being nice go?

to the extent that you feel SO ANGRY with friends but it always seems like IT'S YOUR FAULT and you APOLOGISE OVER AND OVER and you feel like A SCRUNCHED UP BALL

or to the extent that your views are NOT THEIR VIEWS and just because of that YOUR'E WRONG

or to the extent that you feel the need to MAKE THEM HAPPY ALL THE TIME, stick to THEIR EXPECTATIONS and NEVER SHOW when you're angry

or to the extent that you can only resort to CRYING HOT ANGRY TEARS and scribbling in your NOTEBOOK DURING LECTURES

how far does suanning go?

:( 2 disparate issues, worlds apart yet linked by the common thread of transition of rg into rj.

i really felt i could do something to change. to change the status quo and as they say "step out of my comfort zone". then i plummetted. cause i realised my comfort zone didn't just reside in myself, they weren't boundaries i drew out in my head. my comfort zone lay in those around me and whatever views they held, i'll be compelled to follow. for fear of either seeming too overeager, or for fear that no one would be my support. but 2 whole years in rj and it's going to whiz by like anything. 1 year and 4 months and still counting. would the 2 years even remain as something more than a distant memory in the years to come. would anything survive out of the classroom and the twists and turns of events that brought each and every one together? or would the status quo prove too easy to fall back on and everyone's just too shy, waiting on the world to change. hycritical may be the word of the day and i'm as guilty as charged for not stepping out. for not holding on to what i believe in, but rather, allowing what is to be expected, what those around say is normal to be my stand, when it's never been that way. i know i regret today. and the many yesterdays that have flown by. and i tell myself, do i want to regret the other tomorrows to come as well? will i just let them slip away into todays and yesterdays. the spirit is willing, but oh how the heart trembles with fear and cowardice and the knowledge that conformity is safe. ):

separately. i know i let my emotions yoyo me around and i retreat into my cave and push people away when the yoyo dips and falls. but i never wanted it to turn out this way. true, i never thought about what inaction could do, how unspoken words could be communicated as clearly and how our friendship was so important to me. but i never knew just how complicated things could be when you take what other people say into consideration even though you know it's not true. i've let their words rock my security, rock the sweetness of friendship. but i just cant seem to force the words from inside out to say sorry. for the times i've turned away and closed my eyes to hide to avoid people saying more than necessary. ):

-anne

WHAT THE PONGS!! why do things like these happen to me!

read: I LOCKED MYSELF INSIDE THE HOUSE -.-

so now i'm sitting infront of my comp trying to do work whilst bemoaning the the fact that i SHOULD BE AT CELL AND SPEEDLIGHT AND I'M MISSING OUT ON ALL THE FUN AND LEARNING AND HOLY COMMUNION AND THE SERMON >:( if there's a day when i need to knock some commonsense into my head instead of bumbling around today's the day.

it's amazingly ironic how much i want to be INSIDE the house when i'm locked outside and now how much i want to be OUT OF THE HOUSE when i'm locked inside. oh grah! and my room's locked with the keys and EVERY other thing that could occupy my attention like my dear Bible so now i've to settle for bumming around in the living room and checking if the kitchen is still unlocked. cause EVERY OTHER ROOM is locked as well. whatthepongggggggsssssssss.

and norman amanda and jess's reactions weren't exactly encouraging! -.-
norm: she what?! how did she do that!?! *HAHAHAHAHAHAHA*
jess: you what?! *HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH*
amanda: OMG joanne chan *HAHAHAHHAHHA*

NO SENSE OF SYMPATHY!!

BYE i'm off to contemplate my fate rawr >(

-anne

i've been drafting posts and requiems in my head but those can be tucked away for a little later.
all i want to say in its full exhibitionist glory is i'm realising just how delicious life is and how deliriously happy i've been since we came to the fork in the road. and sometimes, the urge to post exhibitionist photos is just too overwhelming for some, isn't it? like an arm accessory to be proudly displayed. but wellwell, the only realisation that cut through the thick was just how fun it has been without all the emotional strings and baggage. (:
and that, is not something to prove with photos. (:

don't say you love me;

-anne

more photos i found

p6gep girls during cny at sam's house!

take 5 photos!
haha a picture captures a thousand emotions

Pris

love at miss clarity's (: <33

first times new memories
ticktock springroll banana susu
banmian at scott's
meepok with chilli orange squash muahchee
squashing inanimate balls with animated characters
best friends hold on for life
cause they know they wont fall (:

-anne

djskfhasgcasybsdtc! i feel high one moment, insanely questionable the next, insecure in the following lapse of time then contented all over again. just add FLIPPING TIRED and FLIPPING RED AND SUNBURNT to the concoction and you have the winning combination tadahhh! well done. x_x

life after cts has been insanely packed ): even in the 2/3 days. sometimes i really want to delete every single commitment from my life and just be selfish, butt everyone out and say MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME i want time to myself only! haiZzZzZzZZxXxXxXxXx gayganz is a bad influence.

so. cts were Completely Traumatising. woohoo what's new! haha but i've been watching goong as my destressant ((: and it has completely 1) enhanced my multilingualism by 0.0005% 2)introduced me to another specimen of the T___, D___ and N__ S_ H______ species of which i am going to rid myself off SOON (: yay grace will be proud. " YOU MUST HARDEN YOUR HEART OR YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT! " i qouth and unqouth.

then on thurs had training for comps on sat at the ri field. it's synthetic grass! which gets stuck in yr shirt when you happily lie down and make you itch till the cows come home ): can faint the sun was like from the scene of every model chinese compo pls! total fulfilment of the feng he ri li criteria. so we all did horizontal and vertical stacks and baked happily like potatoes. yum

like our potato salad for bbq on fri! (: but before that was Good Friday service, which was really timely. life's been tough and sometimes all the various random ingredients that clutter the recipe for happiness just takes my attention away from God. and sometimes the entire feeling of being a misunderstood soul who holds the affections of people away from her at arm's length for fear of disappointing them or hurting them proves too overwhelming. ahwell. fri's mime was reallyreallyreallyreally good; reminded me of the true Reason for it all and how He's always always there for me and i dont have to worry about misconstrued notions and whatnot. Ray Boltz's watch the lamb is just an awesome song replete with meaning (: go youtube it and listen or smth!

right. so it was insane-ness trying to get all the food ready for bbq! to cut a longgg story short - food was great. ecp is insanely big; bigger than what singapore should be capable of. ants like raw chicken. playing frisbee facing the sea is Not A Good Idea. dont buy chickenwings based on the presumption that guys eat their weight - chickenwings are almost always left over - what am i saying, they ARE always leftover period haha. be a trendsetter and share your chickensausage/crabstick with someone - save food save the earth! and you may even end up getting your first kiss when your heads are oh-so-accidentally slammed into each other XD YAY for happy gullible boys! being at the breakwater IS romantic ogay? ogay. (:

then beach fiesta frisbee comps! which was the bomb. literally in terms of heat and killerness. runnign BAREFOOT on BAKING SIZZLING SAND is Never A Good Idea. we were foaming at the second game and i think the only reason why we even ran sometimes was just to pseudo achieve levitation for that miniscule moment and get off the sand. so hot la. and the amount of skin on parade was really quite obscene eww. but yay was very very fun! but my skin veryvery painful nowzz )): someone save me. )):

and i want to go science centre! it was supposed to be the HIGHLIGHT of the end of cts! D: sighs but when life throwns you a curveball you sigh accept it move on and then blame it on darn ol' Buble for making you so sway.

-anne

Sci vs God debate

Science vs. God

"Let me explain the problem science has with Jesus Christ."

The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?" "Yes sir," the student says. "So you believe in God?" "Absolutely." "Is God good?" "Sure! God's good." "Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?" "Yes." "Are you good or evil?" "The Bible says I'm evil." The professor grins knowingly. "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment.
"Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?" "Yes sir, I would." "So you're good...!" "I wouldn't say that." "But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't." The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?" The student remains silent. "No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. "Let's start again, young fella Is God good?" "Er...yes," the student says. "Is Satan good?" The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No." "Then where does Satan come from?" The student : "From...God.." "That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?" "Yes, sir." "Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?" "Yes." "So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil." Without allowing the student to answer, the professor continues: "Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?" The student: "Yes." "So who created them?" The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. "Who created them? There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues onto another student. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?" The student's voice is confident: "Yes, professor, I do." The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?" "No sir. I've never seen Him" "Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?" "No, sir, I have not." "Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelled your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?" "No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't." "Yet you still believe in him?" "Yes." "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?" "Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith." "Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith." The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own. "Professor, is there such thing as heat?" "Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat." "And is there such a thing as cold?" "Yes, son, there's cold too." "No sir, there isn't." The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it." Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer. "What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?" "Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?" "You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?" The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. "So what point are you making, young man?" "Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed." The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?"
"You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it." "Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"
"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do"
"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?" The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed. "Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teachingyour opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?" The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean." The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into laughter. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelled the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir. So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?" Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable. Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess you'll have to take them on faith." "Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life," the student continues. "Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?" Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil." To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

sometimes the ache to give expression to something that cannot be entirely crystallised into clear prose proves too overwhelming and the words just fall, pen to paper, emotions to words.

vertices, segments, points and lines
connecting us yet dividing so irrevocably as well
it's the dance of the numbers
questioning if our variables fitted together
in an equation
operations rule the day
dictating the direction we take
number segments regiment the distance between our
2 vertices
a sole point could have happily remained,
a coordinate in its own vast space
until you came and determined its position
relative to yours
just how mnay geometric shapes can a single vertex be part of?
one too mnay,
historically too uncanny.

You led the revolution, You left your legacy
Embraced the struggle in the face of mortality (:

-anne

it's been eons since i've last blogged and ahh time has just been a fleeting illusion to me these past few weeks haha ironic isn't it that EIGHTEEN YEARS has just flown by and it's only now that i realise time just ticktockticktocks its way away ):

but yay 18th on the 14th was AWZM! so borrow sean's phrase. (it means awesome btw :D)

and i really have so manymany people to thank for making it awesome i mean AWZM! haha but you all would have received personalised msges so yay haha :D and dont be like SAMPHUA who complains tt i daoed his msg for 14hours while i only daoed lenard's for 1.5 hours. haha that's cause i only started msging at 1030 AT NIGHT aka sacrificing super snuggly sleep :D

mm but yes thank you all so much reallyreallyreally made my day/year (:

didn't really take photos this year i think i'm falling out of love with the camera and phototaking. it's so troublesome! haha but yay LOVE to all <333


love at changi beach with awzm sparkler spelling (:

-anne

Some really nice friendship quotes that I stumbled upon...

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's nothing something you can be taught in school, but if you haven't learned the value of friendship, you haven't really learned anything at all"

"I've learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means you move on and treasure the memories."
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you."

"Many people will walk in and out of your life,But only true friends leave footprints in your heart"

Pris

from the heights of heavens to the depths of despair

thank God for girlfriends and IHB and 6Q and ^-^ (AHAHAHAHA) and tim and samoouueeell and sma and poxy and vivi and every single wonderful soul who's seen me through the depths of despair (:

but most importantly, thank God (: for always always always being there no matter how silly, deluded, emotional i was. (:

IHB FTW! except for ^-^ siwu ftl :D

-anne YAY!

and its gonna be alright
cause You are in my life
yes its gonna be alright
gonna be gonna be gonna be alright
and its gonna be alright
cause Jesus, You're my light
and You have shown me the way
All of my troubles, all of my life I give to You, my King!

it's been a whirlwind of a week and i remember how i started off with sunday in my prettypretty dress. and dino jerome and the like were all asking what the occasion was and i just remember saying that i had a crummy week so i wanted to wear prettypretty dresses to feel happy!

yea daft i know.

but! the curtain has fallen on the final scene and its lead actor and actress has just dispersed, off to navigate their own way out of the bright spotlights. encores are adamantly ignored for the betterment of all.

once broken considered sold.

just how many have i bought or sold. yet it doesn't matter cause thankfully, it's finally through, it's finally over and i dont have to play games anymore.

and i think a name revision may be in place! iABC! i abhor b club! sounds catchy, no? :D

lyrics make my day (:

she said I'm sorry for the way
I've been livin' my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

-anne

The idea of a clique

Can make one feel so sick

Cos right from the start you pick

The same people with whom you'll always have to stick

i thought i let go that day

and why cant i just listen to the countless good advice dished, strewn, thrown in my face and hold out for a hero

cause you're the master baiter and i'm snagged on your line

joanne chan isn't a noob

but she's a real idiot sometimes

-anne

if i kissed you
would fireworks fly
would angels sing with lollipops
would dinosaurs cry
would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
if i kissed you

if you read my eyes and i read yours,
the whole symphony of our communication would drown out the words we were singing
sometimes the intensity and sudden fluctuations of my emotions scare me

say what's in your eyes
so we can stop this game

-anne

“He that lives upon hope will die fasting.” Benjamin Franklin

haha food for thought. first day of school, well it has been a breeze, meaning that work has piled on us so fast, it just seems as if time has wings, and the holidays were merely a figment of our imagination. A lvls this year, a year of abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz bleargh.

Pris

And I thought I was getting my heart back

Tinkle tinkle tinkle tinkle now it’s straddled between my head and my hand

It’s 2008 and I don’t feel like blogging anymore next year. and quitting the whole online scene all together.

And I sat there with my phone thinking about how I was going to anchor my heart down and how you were moody and how I couldn’t help and how terrible that felt. Maybe telepathic hugs are transmittable.

please ):

-anne

I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again

Why am I smiling
And why do I sing?
Why does September seem sunny as spring?
Why do I get up each morning and start?
Happy and head up with joy in my heart?
Why is each new task a trifle to do?
Because I am living a life full of you (and You) (:

taking for granted

you don't realise how important your closest loved ones are to you, how you always depend on them for the nitty-gritty stuff, how your life can feel so empty and quiet without them, until they just disappear. at least it might only be temporary this time, so there's still chance to make up, but what if you had your last chance already?

Pris

joanne chan, heed good advice and

i'm dead tired of and from orientation, it's so draining and i'm as tired as pips the blood has drained from my lips. i'm being incoherent but whatever this post was meant for me to understand and remember stuff.

talking to sma is good haha makes me happy shalalala! but i'm not going to let myself be moved more than necessary cause well, cause tremours and the aftershocks they wreak havoc of a magnitude unrecorded on the richter scale. ):

this sounds really catchy but really harsh and sad too. here is the door, step out of my life. SO EMO RIGHT! nono i'm not emo, just that i'm good at coming up with catchy uh catchphrases :D

the more i think about it, the deeper i excavate, the more i find myself deviating from what seems to be your perfect girl

but fatjojohead is here to stay and stay true to herself she will cause she's going to

hold out for a hero

no mo' emo nemo! (: the many things to say, the many happy things to un-emofy this space after chang's timely reminder and markypoo's wonderful assurances!

but waitswaits no times no times! so this will be short and inane. but YAY 6q Christmas dinner coming good food + awesome company = UNFORGETTABLE! but i still think we're super mean if we all get treated la SAMSOH you! TSK BOONLAY AH. :D

anyway. my mommy wants to get electronic backup of all out old photos haha so was sorting through all the photos and look what the years have done to my sister and i. HAI. haha we're super cute la! :D:D:D oh the bygone days of cute unglamness (:

twas after some prize presentation i think in like kindergarten! haha evidently already in the business of acting cute OOPS :D

-anne

a guy who makes you cry is not worth your tears.

oh man it's the sweetest thing i've heard today (:

and i'm just so sorry. there's so many things i want to say, so many things i want my actions to speak so loudly to you. but i'm just so scared and so unsure and so worried it'll all be so extra.

expectations are good in their own right but sometimes the higher you dream the harder you fall.

and i know it's been really childish of me, but she's everything i'm not, and sometimes it seems we're on totally different planes of existance.

3 more chances for me to right it all after dryrun2. and i pray i'll stop screwing things up ):

pris' no. 10 never seems to be advice come a little too late.

and how i wish i'll just get under all my layers of onion-ness and unease and shyness and abcdefgness and know what to do whenever you're around. sometimes i wonder if i'm just daft, those i love, they'll never know because they are privy to a whole host of weird treatments to cover up the very fact they mean so much to me. maybe the insecurity of not knowing how you feel tips the balance overly.

oh well.

oh Lord You've searched me,
You know my ways,
even when i fail You,
i know You love me.
i know You love me

-anne

Never say never

Across these couple weeks of the holidays, just did some reflection, thought about the year that had slipped through my fingertips, and came to these few conclusions:

Never assume that something wouldn't ever happen to you, it will strike you when you least expect it.
Never think that you can stand alone, maybe one day you just need someone to prop you up
Never say that you wouldn't feel lost or confused or helpless (sth you wouldn't want to admit), without first letting yourself into such a situation
Never be indecisive, it's bad bad just very bad for all
Never abandon your friends (the close ones, the true ones that is) for you will always need them, even if you think you've found someone to replace all
Never assume that your friend who has lost touch with you for ages, has forgotten you, he/she might just be thinking the same way
Never feel embarrassed to show appreciation, to reveal your care and concern for your loved one, you don't know when it's too late
Never ignore msgs, replying late is bad enough, how would you feel if you were on the receiving end
Never put your hope in promises, it could be people you think would never fail you, but you never know
Never lose your heart completely to another person, it's only when you experience this when you know you really never ever want to feel this way.

Can't think of anymore, will add on if i can.

Pris

P.S. Don't continue chasing after things or people if they are not meant to be. Perhaps it was just an evanescent tingling of the heart

Christmas joy

I'm pretty sure no one can disagree that the end of December, which heralds Christmas, is a pretty joyful season. Be it in the shopping malls, or back at home, or even along the streets, Christmas is here to stay for these few weeks. So what exactly is it about Christmas that makes one happy? Receiving presents that you have been longing for? Meeting up with friends and family whom you haven't seen for ages? Taking a good break from the work that has been clinging on to you? Simply indulging in your sweet delicacies and logcakes? Camwhoring amidst the Christmas lightings along orchard road? Finding an opportunity to make new year resolutions? Sharing a quiet special moment with your loved one?

Or

Remembering that Christ is the reason for the season.

It might be a mishmash of all those reasons. Commercialisation working in tandem with the church cause, or could it be gradually stealing the latter's limelight? Maybe it really boils down to what the individual thinks is making him or her so happy in the days to come. This blog wouldn't try to brainwash anyone, regardless of your religious denomination, but i personally believe that it is also because of the true reason for this season that there are so many other reasons for us to cheer about, to rejoice over, to share the joy of the season with. When you find the true source of happiness, there you will find many springs many wells of happiness waiting to be uncovered. It's not too late to find out the true reason of Christmas. Share with your loved ones, spread to strangers, God Bless everyone this christmas!

Pris

Everyone needs Someone

Just wanted to share this really lovely poem by Helen Steiner Rice

People need people and friends need friends
And we all need love of a full life depends
Not on vast riches or great acclaim,
Not on success or on worldy fame,
But just in knowing that someone cares
And hols us close in their thoughts and prayers -
For only the knowledge that we're understood
makes everyday living feel wonderfully good,
And we rob ourselves of life's greatest need
When we lock up our hearts and fail to heed
The outstretched hand reaching to find
A kindred spirit whose heart and mind
Are lonely and longing to somehow share
Our joys and sorrows and to make us aware
That life's completeness and richness depends
On the things we share with our loved ones and friends.

Pris

yay. fine and dandy, wrapped and packaged from kl. (: just got back today, am super tired. and shopping is the bomb! it drains every ounce of energy and complicates matters by imposing shoppers' guilt and faitgue. oh the tangled webs of pleasure we weave!

je suis tres desolee, mais je ne comprend pas.

i think my conjugation's abit off. but yeah the essence is there!

and i think i've returned to a world turned upside down. inside out. msn convos are scaring me. especially when it's not a self-contained quarantined weirdness. :S

-anne

YAY. rekindle retreat is the bombzz yo!

but now i'm sick.

even after being lovingly sponged down last night and showered with the manymanymany love from ushers, eueu, van, premature boyfriend HAHA. yay i love you all alot for making retreat so special; allowing us to grow closer spiritually and emotionally. (: even if i've been a walking bag of germs :D

i'm freezing now. my head is throbbing, my nose is leaking and i'm whining at the computer. D: i think my fever's acting up again. which accounts for the lack of coherence.

so toodles while i scoot off to my bed&bath (: will blog more when i'm in a more stable state of mind!

-anne

my life has never been this clear
now i know the reason why i'm here
you never know why you're alive
until you know what you would die for

certain events with certain people have just rattled the cage and stirred things deep inside of me. and it's made me feel like a trussed up chicken squawking away and tussling with the strings that cut deep into where it hurts the most.

and Pastor Pacer's sermon on sunday was really apt, it was as though God was really just speaking straight to my heart, unwrapping all the cutting, tangled strings of confusion, hurt, passion and anger. scoff all you want and be cynical, but i believe and know that Jesus is real to me. conviction in action, i'm going to contend for my faith.

it's times like these when the line between tact, sensitivity and conviction just seems to double-cross itself. and as i reflect on the occasions where words arose in my mouth to defend, it would remain lodged between my heart and my mouth for fear of crossing that same dubious line into tactlessness and insensitivity. but consider it from another point of view, have you gallantly stridden across the very divide as well?

the closest way to encapsulate all i've been feeling is in this tidy package i've unearthed from my diary.

"and i've got to realise that i cannot please everyone and that i have a right to hold my opinion on matters. I believe and know that Jesus is God and the one and only Lord of lords. there's a fine line between insensitivity to others and standing by what you believe in. and in the face of strong opposition and personality, it's been just too easy to err on the side of caution. but i'm entitled to what i believe in and it's just going to show in my attitude, in my words and in my life. i'm not going to compromise myself and Jesus again for the opinions of others. and by the grace of God, may i still exhibit sensitivity to others while upholding my faith."

mmhm.

on the walk to school today, with mercyme playing in my ears and the wind tousling my hair back from my face, it was just so peaceful. so serene. and i could just feel God drawing me closer to Him, even though i've strayed and tried to rely on my own insignificant strength over and over again. He's always been there, just waiting and loving. loving with a magnitude this heart can never fully grasp. it's just His reassurance that i don't have to feel this confused, this convoluted and that i can just entrust it all to Him. even when the words of those i treasure may splice through me like a blade, it's nothing compared to the agony He went through, punctuated by the nailprints in His hands.

there. (:

-anne

and i know that i can find You here
'cause You promised me You'll always be there
times like these, it's hard to see
but somehow i have a peace, You're near
and i pray that You will use my life
in whatever way Your name is glorified
even if surrendering,
means leaving everything behind

on another note, here's to morning calls and sleepy yawns (:

Why do so many people get upset when all they are seeking is to be happy?
Why do we long for that ring-ring sound but when we hear it, our heart tells a different story?
Why do we try so much to figure out someone else when we're scared to really see through the person's thoughts?
Why do we try to be someone else thinking that it would please someone else?
Why do we long for 'happily ever after' but when the reality is right smack in our face, we get panicky and doubtful?

Go watch 'Enchanted'. The world needs more people believing in their pretty innocent childhood dreams. Who says dreams wouldn't come true? Just believe in it yourself first.

Pris

harrumphs. i can't believe i'm that inane to drive myself nuts over the consistency of msging.

stop the bait. stop the bait stop the bait ):

let the msg limit live. let it live. it live. live.

oh what the running gravel! ):

bratz fatz ladz madz sadz.

i wanna hold your handdddddd

not.

fess up i've messed up (again) and

you've kept me guessing and now i'm destined to spend my time missing you. ):

-anne

girls' day out photos

a nice summary for that previous post. haha

pris

OH MY GOSH.

YES YES YES! this is utterly bimbotic but i'm going to dance randomly around my room for the sheer joy that blogger has relented in its hate against me and i can blog! HOORAYNESS! haha pox had to post my poem for me cause i couldn't get into blogger so now! yay! resurrection! haha okay flippant use of ! gets annoying. sometimes. but!double!eu!dee!vee!

oh man. where do i begin to blog. it's been about what a week plus? and ten thousands of things have happened. Thank God for the many happyhappy things that have happened! but ahh sometimes i'm so busy i just want to drop out of this whole turbocharged life and retreat into my room with just a book on my lap and a trusty bottle of water.

haha so i'm just going to be lazy and blog like this.

class chalet. funfunfun! 6Q+bbq+overnighters=much love for life! wii racing with lei whee. super loud singing to mass appeal songs. summertime guys! bbqing otahs with sam. making faux otahs. random talking at macs. she's the man. POLAR BEAR!!! :DDD scary movie 4 scared me. jukie grace joanne one bed no space. siti sleeping soundly :D. bluetoothing songs with grace. bathing at swimming pool toilets. hankering for waffles. biking. wind in hair mud on shirt. samsoh and yix's dare. mud. splashes. even more mud :D. lunch yum. photospree! look below haha. pretending to watch dark waters. quadrapop highscore woots HAHA. munchies in bed. home. overflowing laundry baskets. family shopping. yummy dinner.

suntec shopping. new blouse! yay! dinnering at touristy spot. pretending to be tourists. trigger happy sister. HAHAHA.

ben&jerry's finally! mark the loverboy :D. FORCED msging :D. national library. books! yay

changi airport dinner! losing of the sis. cause she didn't know t1 from t2 -.- haha. trigger happy sister again. death of the phone batt. eager thumbs on numbers and letters (:

cell! speedlight. commitment and conviction. searing of the heartstrings. ): long long long GM at amanda's house. waiting and checking. waiting and checking. samuel's pig! >:( haha

filing. filing. filing. filing. filing. amazement at the amassment of such massive amounts of paper. rocking back on heels. reminscent. 010107. random scribblings on lecture notes. rawr i'm hungry. paper terror. beebee. compass. l8.d8.j8.m8 :D. dust bunnies unfurling. dusty fingers. toes stubbed in dust. vacuuming!

bestestfriendsholdonforlife (:. askance glances and shared giggles. colin raye's love me. aslyn's that's when i love you. shopping at spotlight. pretty scrapbooks! boring banmian :D. outfitter girls. raffles city fountain countain. soupspoon. unglam chicken XD. esplanade's open roof top. 2 girls. 2 hours. teetering on the brink of. questions. fears. hopes. dreams. love.

okay i'm getting tired haha so i'm just going to be lazy and do this.

s&d! yay odance fun steps funny pace fast waltzing like a chicken lei's partner. ditched for jukie! :O heehee books. piano. jay's secret. family outing!

phew okay that was one long list! haha worth all the time and effort to remember though. but grahhh wished i could have gone for airport sendoff and receiving the councillors! ): haha i want more times with 6Q. moremoremoremoremoremoremoremore. before j2 draws close and ends in the blink of an eye. aye. i.

oh dear i think i'm becoming more nonsensical. it's all the pent up entries that i haven't been able to blog i tell you! so pictures for now! :D

navene and yix! if you look closely yix's teeth aren't really his teeth ><

samsoh who keeps messing with my phone haha so later pictures are courtesy of him!

jukie! trying to look scary or dao. but FAILL ah. still pweetyyy laaaa hurh :D

parvathi! looking really askance at the camera haha!

uh ronald! he looks like he's trying to smile but cannot smile HAHA. samsoh take one ah.

zhuangyi! looking very happily at his uh food. :D haha again the works of samsoh not mee!

siti! gesturing wildly with her spoonful of tausuan. HAHA! :D

haha sma with weird eyebrows!

YAY! :D

okay i've sat at the comp for like 1 whole hour posting EVERYTHING! haha yay (:

-anne

A kaleidoscope of colours flit pass your line of vision
It flutters, always out of reach but never quite out of sight
Drawing near and pulling away
teasing you this way and that
Outstretched arms trying to grasp the elusive,
trying all the more to own a piece of the rainbow
It darts within a hair’s breadth of your fingers
And you tingle from how close you were
The anticipation heightens and desire dawns
It coyly dances around to the pace of your pulse
Quickening with each seemingly futile snatch of the air
Once more it brushes the very tips of your fingers
Startlingly euphoric.
A light headiness fills your mind
And you find yourself wanting – no, needing it
Darting
Left
Right
Centre
It lands.
Right in the middle of your outstretched palm
Right where you’ve always wanted it
Right where you’ve never felt so
wrong.
-anne

5A class chalet!!!!

it's really fast how time flies, and now it's already december! and how can our holidays do without a class chalet! it was really enjoyable, and i'm so glad that lots of people turned up. bbq was a success with the help of our wonderful scouts/bb/miscellaneous people, and it really was a fun (but tiring) experience. and it is even more of a coincidence that jo's class was having class chalet at the exact same place!

jean loves marshmellows. so do i!
aiyoh i don't know how to change the image size, anyway, a picture speaks a thousand words.




Pris

recommended book

I've just finished widely acclaimed Jodi Picoult's "My Sister's Keeper". Although I suppose many out there would have probably read or at least heard of this book, I just like to add my two cents worth on top of all the accolades that it has received thus far - It's a really touching, thought-provoking book, something worth the read, and worth your tears, or at least it did win some of my tears. Realising how many different parts of our life could have been different reminds me to count my blessings all the more.

Pris

INFJ - The "Confidant"
INFJs, making up an estimated 1% of all people, are the most rare type (males even more so). They are introspective, caring, sensitive, gentle and complex people that strive for peace and derive satisfaction from helping others. INFJs are highly intuitive, empathetic and dedicated listeners. These traits tend to act as a "tell me what's wrong" sign on their forehead, hence the nicknames Confidant, Counselor or Empath. INFJs are intensely private and deeply committed to their beliefs.

Pris!

this is a coolios function and yes this is considered blogging :)

it can be such a confusing thing, it leaves you feeling sweet and feeling lost. feeling like you've gained the whole world, but lost yourself to uncontrollable, unpredictable whirlpool of emotions. you can't gain experience, because it only probably means that you must have hurt yourself first before you are a wise person in this field. and you probably hurt others too in the process. but hope is always there, when you feel like you can't make sense of the entire thing, just hope.

Pris

misguided GP teachers

Solely for people who indulge in bombastic flowerly language that doesn't make any coherent sense: what would you say to a teacher who has condemned your piece of work as nebulous, infelicitous, superficial, lackadaisical, vacuous, uninspired, horrendously expressed? I'll say - look at yourself in the mirror. You are doin the same thing!

Pissed off Pris

pseudo class outing at ecp

my nice class!

food for thought

Face this fact: blogs are meant for people to reveal their deep mysterious, often exaggerated but undoubtedly holds a glimpse of truth of their sad side. or what many would call emo-ing stage. can we help it that this is the fate of blogs? No. So I apologise before hand if you think that I am once again misusing the internet as a source of venting out my pent-out frustration/exasperation/disappointment.

I suppose it is not a very timely time to post an entry, havent' just received my promos results. You know that you're in a dilemma when your results are neither way too good for you to be rejoicing over, or neither are they too lousy for you to be given the liberty to complain and look upset without others pointing out to you gently that there are people worse off. If you don't get the whole chunk of stuff that i've typed out, you're just joining the side of the red ink GP marker who has flooded my paper with lots of brilliant red slashes(for those who don't know what i'm talking about, it's alright. i'm just feeling sore over GP).

With the overcast skies flooded with grey clouds overwhelmed with heaven's tears, crying for you while you sit amidst the crowd trying your best to hide your bottled up tears. A melancholic tune lingers in the air, it seizes your breathe, you stay silent, and so do others, words don't seem to work when you need them best, no one offers it anyway. It's a gloomy day, everyone relishes it in their own way.

I suppose we can learn a lot from exams, not just the very knowledge that we are being examined, but also important yet fundamental principles in life - never take things for granted (being overly confident in a subject would get you no where but all the way down), never envy others (whoever said 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration; sometimes, it's unfair but it can be the opposite) and something else that struck rather indirectly. Actually, it was pointed out by one of my friends, i'm absolutely not making any personal attacks here, it's just something that only becomes apparent when we enter our own fair share of adversity.

A friend in need is a friend indeed. I like to add that friends are there when they need you. What does this mean? Who can we tell who are our true friends? If they are not even there for us to tell our problems, share our burdens, cry on their shoulder, do we still call them friend?In any relationship, friendship included, people argue that there shouldn't be any clearcut giving and taking, it's a matter of compromise, but how far am I suppose to give in, or rather give out myself, before I can find someone who will know that I need the person? or for that matter, maybe friends are like what I've said, only look for you and when you offer them what you have been seeking for, then the friendship is called as such. I used to think it was unreasonable to expect people to guess what I am thinking, what I might like. Until I found that it was all to hard.

I don't believe anyone can live the life of a saint, giving all the time, without wanting deep down to see it reciprocrated. It's not an expectation or obligation attached to being first a friend to someone, but simply, a normal human need. Maybe it had happened once in the past. The fact that your interest seemed to be slighted, you friend rambling on. It didn't quite matter. You didn't have any problems that were of top priority back then. Then again it happens. Well, friends what, don't be so petty. But then loneliness can be a really scary monster. It knocks you at your lowest point, when you are already on the cliff of sadness, hoping for someone to just open up the door in your heart, to just spend some time listening to you. i wonder how many people are going through this right now? How many are silently fiddling around on their keyboards, or piano keys, wishing wishing wishing for a shooting star to enter their life, and brighten up just a few moments, enough to show that a friend would indeed be there when in need?

Perhaps the most amazing thing about writing, is that you can pour our everything, and after a while, it doesn't feel that bad after all. You are merely making a mountain out of a molehill, being overly sensitive, indulging in your own fanciful self-pity. And thus the bitter feeling of being slighted/neglected saps away. We can have lots of friends, they can laugh a whole lot with you, have the craziest times, but the distinction between friend and good friend and best friend and boyfriend, is really how much the person understands you, without you having to say a single word. Girls la, so troublesome, make things difficult for their loved ones. Well, I can't help being a girl, can I?

But it doesn't matter, because just when you feel that everything seems so bleak, tell yourself. You only have 24 hours in a day, and one face. You can choose to wear a sad mask, or you can choose to hide behind a happy mask, but after hiding behind the happy one for a while, you'll let it become part of your face, and the sadness will naturally disappear. And if all other things fail you, know that God will always be there, and I suppose we must just hold on to the truth, his Word saying that in all things, He has great plans for us, and he's a friend to the lonely, a stronghold, a shelter in our time of need.

You don't just fail your own expectations during exams, you might also realise that friends do so too.

Priscilla

It’s funny how closeness, friendship and love can be so intermingled with selfishness as well. And it’s even funnier how we never realise it until we’re faced with the prospect of having to share, of having to give up the position occupied in the throne room. Quarts of selfless joy and selfish jealousy slosh around in the hidden jug of life. And you know you have to let go and you know you will let go and yet you also know that as watery smiles aren’t what emotes are made of, you can safely hide behind the screen and laugh your way out online. (:
-anne

Summertime guys
School is out, the sun is shinin’
Summertime guys
I think I wanna make him mine
Nothin’ like the feelin’
That you get inside
Look him in the eyes
Summertime guys

yay this is such a cute song!

-anne

driving monsters into outerspace i'm gonna be a superhero girl nananananananananananananana

yay so pw op dryrun was yesterday. which was. a whole range of varying emotions. but yay much love goes out to shaway jukie and gabby! for being so on and hardcoring pw for the entire week! (:

but i can't keep a straight face watching the video. i don't even know WHERE to put my face. it's so utterly bimbotic. oh dear D: please say i did not look natural. SAY IT!

haha and jukie and i have random moments of SEEING NO EVIL and thoughts of EUTHANASIA. bad girls we are. D:

sometimes i think i'm afraid of getting hurt or being thought dispensable, that i would rather just distance myself first. then the whole sad cycle just repeats itself. which isn't exactly a recipe for happiness is it?

but i know Someone who wouldn't even leave no matter how far i may stray. only in His embrace in His love and in His grace, that all doubt and uncertainties dissipate. :)

of sea spray kissing the moon

-anne

Insights & Reflections

How many times have we conceded that it is only a little difference that we make,
But fail to realise that the moment of hesitation was actually a life at stake
A smile, a word of concern, a listening ear,
That's all it might take to wipe away your friend's silent tear.

Through the sharpest microscopes we have scrutinised the key to life
Yet still we are blinded by our selfish desires, the desire to strive
And for such a 'worthy' cause as many are disillusioned to believe
Trapped in our mad mad world, the awful reality which few have left the time to conceive

True love has grown cold, thorny troubles, envious essence
A display, a facade, which now assumes its presence
99 roses, the boy's matches to melt a girl's heart
Yet who rose up to the challenge to hold true to the end, right from the start

Day break we whine of the school ahead, day end we yawn
Life seems nothing but a race stretching on and on
Somewhere out there a little child gasps for her last breathe
Fortunate people never realise what they already have

It's the little things in life that count


Have you ever wondered about this little dot called the decimal?
If it chooses to put its self-interest aside, fit itself snugly at the back
You will get alot, maybe 100 000
But when people's concerns are miserly worries, it fights for the first place
Leaving little, maybe 0.100 000

Wherever it goes, the little dot remains a dot
But to others, it is a whole big difference

What kind of difference have you made in someone else's life thus far?

Pris

Thinking deep

Many of us look like we are shallow superficial people. The truth is, everyone has their own secrets hidden inside, deep thoughts that they would share only to a rare few, and a mind of their own, something that is often forgotten.

Well, it does seem that if you were to dwell more on a 'cheam' issue such as life, relationships, religion that kind of thing, people would naturally label you as a emo person. but is that really fair? why can't we talk abt such stuff? what i feel is that, only when someone has concerned him/herself with such issues, can you be considered to have matured and mellowed. after all, these are really stuff that would add value to you as a human being, at least morally and emotionally. i doubt any amount of make-up, clothes, gossip, can make up for that.

and i've been talking a fair bit with friends, whom i regard as rather close now. i'm really glad to have my longtime best friend joanne to be there for me through thick and thin, going high and sharing my downess, and for indulging me with long telephone calls. and at the same time, i'm extremely blessed to find myself to be in a nice class. well the word nice is rather over-used, but what it entails is actually ppl who are more than just the hi-bye kind, those that i feel i can really trust, 5A ppl rock la. well even though sometimes it seems that class outings revolve ard a handful same few, but the reality is that it's really impossible to imagine a utopian perfect class where everyone loves each other equally and is willing to fork out the same amount of time for the class. undeniably, some might have 'better' friends outside, well that's up to them. but i believe that you will only get to know a friend as much as you are willing to let the person know you, and thus mutual trust is essential.

time really can change alot of stuff. my perceptions of some ppl has honestly changed drastically, well there are those that became worse (but not much la and i shan't be bothered too much either), but more significantly are those that are more than what they appear. cutting, cold, quiet initially, now that you talk to them mroe, you realise that they are really interesting, matured, sincere friends, friends that you know and you want to retain for a life time if possible. haha special thanks to all these 'friends in need friends indeed'! hope the year remaining and year ahead will be filled with lots more opportunities to build up stronger friendship ties! appreciating those ard u is really impt before it's too late.

just wanted to end with this inspiration i got from some chi story book. lots of us are willing to die for the ones we love, but why don't we just try to live right for them instead? and yet for those that we hate, we strive to live, and even live a better life, just in the hope of pissing them off. it's quite ironical rite? live for those you hate, die for those you love.

Pris

i stumbled on one of my friends' blogs which dedicated this entire entry to this really thought-provoking topic that caught my eye "there are lots of pretty girls around, but few are interesting" well i can't help but sigh and agree with that. and as for girls, we always say that we don't judge a book (or for this matter, guys) by their cover, but the truth is the term 'eye candy' remains highly relevant right now. are we really able to just shut out the appearances and appreciate the inner character? or do we need some degree of visual stimulus before we are willing to unlock the person's insides? maybe i'm kicking a big fuss on such an issue, but well i'm just anyhow blabbering what i feel anyway.

and i believe when it comes to relationships, we are quite a hypocritical bunch of people. some of us enjoy crushing ppl all the time, switching 'targets' every now and then hoping that cupid arrow would shoot them, but if it was just the other way and you find out that the guy who has taken a fancy to you is also taking a fancy to lots of other wild flowers, you feel hurt/frustrated/jealous/unfairly treated. and how do you know how much to give? is it better to love someone more than the person love you or the other way round? give and take, that's what they always say. but how much do we actually practice what we preach?you like the feeling of being chased after, but how does it feel desperately going after and thinking about XX person who pretends to act ignorant all the time?

such a confusing sea of emotions and scenarios.

liking is tough!
but whoever said that being liked is not tough either.

Pris
(oh and limerence is a rather interesting word)

yay! open house was fun! :D met supersuperduper nice people. i love earnest people! and befriending felt abit scary at first but then my group of uh befriendees were so cute and earnest and loveable and befriendable :D and one of them was the cutez, he wanted to buy the raffles pe shirt haha but the bookshop auntie evaded us and closed the wondrous pe-shirt-selling-bookshop ):

and lei and i were boredd walkign 467365734649128739 times around blk J. i want to take a picture under the J of blk J but i think it's too HIGH UP THERE ):

and met wonderful juniors who made me fondly rmb rg days. :)))

and met not so wonderful stranger juniors who made me want to torch rg for producing such girls as well. eew

alot to type but i'm lazy. but today was awesome!

yay i love pictures and phototaking and extraterrestrials ((:

HELLO i don't OWE you anything. what i do with MY TIME is on MY schedule and in MY life. i don't have to KEEP FEELING SORRY just because i'm BUSY. which i AM. and which i LOVE because i'm with GORGEOUS WONDERFUL HAPPY HUMANS who make me happy. double t double a! >(

From Siti
The person who tagged you is: Pris
Your relationship with her is: classmates turned friends (haha i copy you!)
Your 5 impressions of her: nice sarcastic suan-er encouraging nice!
The most memorable thing she had done for you: um treat me to swensens! haha!
The most memorable words she had said to you: =/ cant rmb
If she becomes your lover, you will: make her not be afraid of hugs! ><
If she becomes your enemy, you will: not give her my love anymore!
If she becomes your enemy, the reason will be: I’m jealous that she’s so smart
The most desired thing you want to do for her now is: make her hair grow faster
Your overall impression of her is: small but packs a punch. haha!

pris

bestest friends in the entire cosmos universe!

they say a picture speaks a thousand words. so here's at least 4 thousand to talk about today since i'm too lazy to blog :D and yay squashpristimjo ftw!

-anne

what's our purpose in life?

'what's our purpose in life?'

across the ages, across the globe, across every single possible divide, any individual would have probably entertained that question at least once in their short interlude on this earth. perhaps for those struggling to even manage 3 meals a day, or keep their families alive, or simply put it, those too preoccupied with the most basic necessities, such a question seems out of bounds because there simply isn't enough time to ponder over a philosophical and intangible issue like 'purpose in life'. what we commonly term purpose can be broken down into longterm objective that one aims to achieve which directs our process to reach this product. i suppose to each his own, so your own definition of purpose might deviate from this general one, but whatever the case, it is something that one abides to for an extensive period in one's life and would be what one is striving for.

clutching onto temporal things in life, including good grades, nice clothes, popularity in ur social circle, 5Cs, cliched as it sounds, wouldn't bring you far. What would you do if one day you find urself completing ur education? how about the reality that fashion trends change every season? or maybe ur fair-weathered friends would abandon you when the time is ripe. and how much joy can you derive indulging in cars, condos while working your head off simply satisfying this supposed 'purpose' in life? perhaps this is an extremely negative view to the worldly take on stuff you should strive for, but it's when ppl don't have anything deeper and more meaningful to look forward to , that they simply cling on to what can be seen. surely our purpose in life is more than this?

from a student's pov, it always seemed that the purpose in life, at least for the first 20 years of our life, was simply to excel well, fulfil the responsibilities of a child/teenager/student and then when suddenly promos just ended, a sudden emptiness engulfed me. what was i supposed to be doing? each day seemed in the past to be living simply to get over the test the next day. rush home, mug like mad, complain a whole deal, sleep less than a vampire, then regurgitate everything we had suppressed for the past 24 hrs. it was just like a viscious cycle, then all of a sudden the floodgates of freedom was let loose. so wad now?

am i simply yet another person on this earth contributing to global warming by exhaling excessive carbondioxide, consuming countless amt of fossil fuels, killing ants and grass, maybe hurting someone else unconsciously by saying unkind stuff? okay maybe i shdn't be putting down myself so badly, but what exactly are we meant to become? we always say think abt it later, our future is still far ahead, but wake up! we're 17! that's neither too old nor too young. if dreams start from ambitions and ambitions start from young, our youth is simply wasting away. is it because of the education system that we've been imbibed with to think that we must follow this rigid structure of pri-sec-jc life b4 entering uni? then a red carpet route laid out all the way to a comfortable job? purpose that is in my opinion, must be more than just material comfrots, job security.

with a religion, you can say that your purpose in life is already planned out long ago, God has a purpose for each and every of us. it's sth that keeps us gg, when the world seems to be devoid of hope and meaning, we turn to God's word, we pray about it, we know that there's an eternal substance in life. but what if some ppl don't buy that? is it possible to lead a purposeful life yet still staying clear of those worldly pleasures that don't add a single importance in our eventual life?

i probably don't make sense by now, but it's a vague and subjective issue, 'what's our purpose in life'. just happened to strike me when having a conversation with some really gd friends today. i think it's something all of us shd think abt, if that qns hasn't ever crossed your mind, you probably are too caught up already with a purpose (which is though gd, maybe reminding u to reflect on the value of that purpose), or you simply are living a life with no purpose(so it's a wake-up call). as my mind is currently malfunctioning, i've to end here.

To end with a quote 'if a man hasn't discovered something that he would die for, he isn't fit to live'

Pris

ooh yay! promos are over FOREVER! and for the life of me i can't understand how that only measly week could have wreaked such upheaval and havoc. but DOUBLE EUU DEE VEE it's over! hallelujah! i'm going to run around on all the usual madcap adventures and do all the crazy things that problematicputridpoohpromos have wrestled from me in that span of time. :]]]

anyhoos.

going out too much is tiring! and i just want to curl up on my bed surrounded by all my delicious new books and devour all of them without ever having to get up. nice soft music in the background [LIKE HSM2'S GOTTA GO YR OWN WAY swoonsss] :D my trusty mug of pristine spring water {{{{: and random assortment of snacks. just draw my curtains switch my phone off and TADAH instant literary heaven.

heehee. i love being a hermit when the time calls. today's my nice hermit day cause ALL the past few days have been MADCAP ADVENTURES GALORE. much like the adventures of gummi bears albeit less uh gelatinous :D

friday was awesome with the final release from urgh promos! went to airport with lei jukie and ben in nicenice cab and we talked all sort of rubbish on the way! like AHEM certain elite people's DIFFERENT WAY OF THINKING :D:D:D and my new language of talking which ben was only supposed to be able to understand! haha tried to cajole sammmm to go but he wanted to go library so he went on a quest to find chicklit for me :D good conquest i daresay

yeah so airport was just random talking and laughing haha and lei and i can BANTER with each other with much ferocity! RAWR. but allyship is an unfair thing, cause even the SUPOSSEDLY impartial SWITZERLAND JUKIE has tendencies to take sides D: nonono jukie! no! DDD: and ben is a bigbadboy who takes advantage of the limitations of msn haha and the people's weaknesses to eye gouging. YUCKS

saturday was family shopping day woots! i love joop i love pretty wear! and i hearts bigbig my papa mommy and meimei and we ate alot of rubbish food like seoul garden so now i'm getting fatter and fatter and pudgier and pudgier and soon lei will start crushing me cause i've turned into a big fat white fishball. eww.

haha oh yea and sunday was THE rocks! this is like some recollection thingy and it's getting boringgg i dont like blogging when there's exciting stuffs happening haha so unexciting to blog! heh i'll use my powderful gp summary skills and just say cell was wonderful and service was really good reflection and orcharding with ama cheryl tim jerome was the bomb and meeting wenjun and gayganzz and tanzhenz was shrill-screamingly fun to say the least :D heehee yay i hope open house is fun!

alphabetical ftw :D

haha and prettydates and ahem selegie tauhuey and SIMPANG PRATA and tennis and squash and quiet time and prayer buddies and marathon conference calls and yay youyouyouyouyouyouyouyou for making it all so worth the while <3333

-anne

WHEN.WILL.THE.DRATTED.PROMOS.END i give plomos scary face ah >(

i don't know.
i hate it when ppl make me mad. and the madder i get, the more liable i am to cry. when i'm my angriest i cant even shout. i just know the hot angry tears will spill over and my eyes start to flash with all the anger like nobody's business. but it's not like anyone knows. cause who reads eyes anyway. sometimes i've just got to believe it's okay to get angry with friends. that it's okay to be angry. i've half a mind to repost the post from sec4 in my archive. but that would be too obvious and too unnice and too oh-dear-joanne-you-aren't-supposed-to-do-that.

but. it's okay to be angry

right? :'(

-anne

and when You were on the cross and mocked a millionbajillion times worse
all You said were forgive them for they know not what they do
help

frisbee farewell! latelatelate at night where above pictured persons were the last ppl left :D

camwhore pose 1!

camwhore pose 2!

camwhore post 3!
and contrary to popular belief i WAS NOT the one who initiated the camwhoring
i think

pretty maids all in a row XD

like how about totally awesome! haha zits say it all! on the face or otherwise. [:

and sometimes i think msn etiquette is exceedingly important. especially when it's so easy to be offhand and hurtful without really realising the impact of the very words that you type.

and sometimes it's just the small rubbish conversations that make your day too (: like uplifting messages and IMs that just show how much people are capable of caring.


it's times like these with maddening mugging nonsense that you really sit and wonder. if i just take out all forms of mugging and plain purposeless studying out of my life. just WHAT is left behind? what remains of this very existence if studying is taken out. (that was such an ungrammatical fragment BUT i digress)


because studying in itself is an end. mindless purposeless drivel if the only goal is some narrow-minded achievement on a few loose sheets of industrialised pulp. i want to do so much more in my life! i want to have something SOMETHING that my entire being just quivers with passion and anticipation about. it has to be something that just makes me live, breathe and move. i think i've found my antidote.

have you?

haha i sound like some advert. but yea contemplative pensive reflective >>>>>>>> mugging, for all real values of x where x is a subset of time. WOOTS :D

-anne

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity - 1 timothy 4:12

(:

how apt. (: i'm going to live for Jesus, live for Him in all that i do and no matter how narrow the path may be, how trying and how absurdly different and set-apart i may seem, it's going to be my utmost for His highest. it's either His way or the highway! heh :D

and i'm just sososo thankful for the many blessings i've been showered with. wonderfulwonderful people who's been placed all around me for support for love more mumblety-peg and for a gazillion barrels of laughter. (:

and i realise i'm quite rubbish at mugging with ppl. it's utterly a FARCE! either i don't feel absolutely comfortable to mug and ignore the person which TOTALLY defeats the purpose of mugging tgt doesn't it. or i get too comfortable with my fellow mugger and poof mugging becomes the most neglected item on the agenda! which is why pox and i don't ever get to/want to/should mug tgt. :D

and friday's almost non-existent mugging with tim in the library is a lesson in itself! attempts to mug WERE made but then the library was SO COLD and my nose was running SO FAST and my history and tim's chem were totally SO UNINTERESTING so we didn't mug as much as 3 hours should have warranted. but! not bad lar haha :D and tim's good to mug with because 1) he has tissue 2) he's willing to go get tissue and vicks for me 3) he listens and gives top advice! hurrahyipyipyay for friends and CIRCLE OF TRUSTS and for awesomeawesome 6quee :D

what an absolutely wonderful respite from mugging (((((:

cheek it out!

-anne

OH EM GEE.

blogger just ate up my post. i FAINT.

but i feel much better gettign whatever it was off my chest. which was mainly i don't give 2 cents/pennys/farthings over what youyouyouyouyou have as a fixed image of me and i'm just too tired to bother to mesh with youyouyouyouyou when all i feel is just an extinguishing of any originality, wit and repartee. a space that is instantaneously filled with banality. we're just in continual antiphase and i'm too drained, too tired to try and mesh with youyouyouyouyou anymore.

maybe youyouyouyou will one day look beyond this awkward shell. but then again maybe youyouyouyouyou won't.

but who cares! it may hurt, it may sear but.

and i lovelovelove my REDBLOODCELL! who just makes me feel so loved, so happy and so at ease with all the girls AND the guys and ABSOLUTELY everyone. and when we decided to hike back to the interchange after service, we went just nuts singing and talking about randome articles of little interest. (: and sam made me laugh like nothing when he absolutely refused to acknowldge that he knew us and added "ESPECIALLY NOT THAT BANANA INFRONT" -when i was OHSOHAPPILY swinging my tropically-coloured coolios bag all nicely decked out in my yellow tee and jeans and singing (he'll say wailing) along to avril's when you walk away and trying to act angsty.-

hahahahaha it's all amanda's phone's fault. it arrested our common senses and made us bellow along to all the songs. ((:

and all the wodnerful funny things during lunch. it's the small things that matter and the small things that make me feel at ease. when i don't ever have to feel judged or feel like i have to live up to your standards and where i don't ever have to feel like i've failed whatever youyouyouyouyou have set as the passing grade. but i'm just too tired to care or to change whatever state things are right now.

but. God's in His Heaven and He knows well and He knows best. and so i lay it all down and lay at His feet to rest.

-anne

L'amour

Just a passing thought...

"Children love with their mouth
Teenagers love with their eyes
Adults love with their hands
Elderly love with their ears
If only I could love with my heart."

Pris

oh the cheek of it all!

sometimes i think i just need to hear assurances from others reiterating what i've always said. cause sometimes, self-conviction just doesn't stand up to scrutiny.

and soemtimes, when my bubble of self-contained happiness threatens to prick and dissolve in a shattering of a thousand shards, i'm just so thankful that You (andyouandyouandyou) have always been there

and when the tears threaten to fall, jerome's words come to mind. you don't decide your tear quota! God does! haha hurrah for prayer buddies who can hold marathon phone convos and listen to snivelling drivel (:

i don't think i'll ever be ready or willing to step over the threshold of innocence and naivety

-anne

this post doesn't make sense. but ah well the joys of indecipherable scripts

teachers' day celebrations!!

i must first make a point, i dont' cam whore...... it's the person ABOVE who loves it!
and so you can see how inexperience we are, but still must give credit for attempting to look like puffer fish?
haha my PW group before chionging PW for close to 6 hours straight :S i love my PW group! but i SUPER DUPERLY hate PW. PweedoubleeW.
and then we took a break at cafe cartel, all decent ppl except one.
and of course, i LOVE my class 08s05A too! haha all super nice people, don't we look nice?? well, i guess it's really friends who make your day, and make sch life interesting, and let you look forward to waking up each day to know that there are friends who would brave the freezing cold lectures with you, amuse you with their lame antics, stand by you when you're feeling down, and go crazy with you without ever judging you. mhmm back to mugging!

Pris