and suddenly, sitting here beyond the magical moments of 11:11, i don't feel up to going for tomorrow's event. i know it'll be great fun because of the company and everything everyone has worked so hard for is coming to fruition. but sometimes, i wonder if i just stay home, probably no one will notice. until maybe someone needs a scissors or something and i was supposed to bring the scissors then oh shoots where is that dumb girl and then maybe they realise i'm not there for 30 seconds.

i'm in a mood now. cause i hate it when i seem to pick vibes up and then i dont know what to do about them. especially when the vibes make me feel like i've done something wrong. but i dont know yet vaguely might know what it is.

who knows? maybe i just wont turn up tomorrow and you wont even realise.

until the scissors are needed, that is.

or i will. and the silly smile that never quite reaches my eyes stays plastered on and raucous laughter spews from these lips and merry-making ensues. but the soul cries. oh it weeps. in recognition.

oh guesswork. why dont you try the below?
<[accidentally]3 lovehate

-anne

thankyou handsome (:

today was so fun!! the adrenaline rush from planning something and seeing all th little nitty gritty details come into fruition and seeing how everyone chips in to help, it's so gratifying and immensely satisfying. maybe i'll go into event planning next time woohooo :D

dance today was YAYNESS made tangible especially with the guys. HAHAHAH if there was someone willing to join me in rolling on the floor with mirth i think the concrete under blk A would be super clean now :D should have asked siti, after all, ROLLING'S HER FORTE :D

was reallyreally awesome to see everyone helping out, coming down despite their busy schedules, learn the not-so-easy dance (omg nigel and his partner who (which?) is really of some STANDard), make a mess out of styrofoam boxes, rehash all our wonderful orientation dancing memories (we should so recruit our subcomm yea XD XD XD), troop down to bedok and get all the loggy logs (thankyou jukie for coming even though you had yr h3 and yix samsoh ronal jayne too!). which reminds me i need to protect the cookies i brought home, my sister WANTED TO TEAR INTO THE BOX AND EAT THEM. :O

oh this is the stuff that holidays are made of! (nay, not dreams hilary) (i think i'm using parentheses too much)

much love and thanks to jayne weixian gohtian lei siti jukie grace xuewei mark yix gabriel ronald samyong samsoh nigel yongjing sisco muhd! really thank you for making time to come down in the midst of crazy trainings and so many other commitments. wednesday's going to be even greater fun (: and after which we delve right back into mugging. :O(

and yay i love this from gilmore girls!
Lorelai: I repeat my question. Why should we date?
Max: Because we're clearly attracted to each other.
Lorelai: Well, I'm attracted to pie. It doesn't mean I feel the need to date pie.
haha hilarious.

oh yay 6Q is love cant wait for fri and wed and thurs! :D

-anne

ignorance is bliss. that's a saying, whether you dispute the validity of it, remains true to me for now. precisely because i'm shutting out what you're trying to tell me that ignorance is not bliss, is itself an act of trying to be ignorant. it really does help. well i might seem like a turkey sticking her head into the sand, pretending the world around me is beautiful and nice, but it's not true. whatever the case, i wish life, relationships, matters could be simpler. no wonder babies are so happy. they hardly know anything. it can be an advice, or something that your close friend tells you. the intention could be good, wanting to help you change, learn, or be more aware, but the effect goes many ways. you can become stronger, change for the better, but deep inside, it was a stab. what makes that knife so sharp, is that it came from someone who meant something to you, someone who was/is close to you. so basically, things have been that way for a long time, it was just never said. it's scary, this feeling of being ignorant.yet precisely because i've learnt about stuff, about me, that i want to return to that blissful stage. you know, when everything really seemed fine. are they jealous of such ignorance? no they're not, continue believing that they have good intentions. i don' tknow, it's such a confusing world.

Pris

THIS IS FOR GRACE. FOR WHEN WE -
- WERE YOUNG AND INNOCENT
- WERE FULL OF NONSENSE
- HAD ALOT OF TIME
- THOUGHT WE WERE VERY KEWL
- WERE STILL ABLE TO WALK TO MRT TOGETHER

okay i shall quit the caps. oh the joys of packing to uncover dusty reams of memories!

i have a d8
at the mark8
we're meeting at the g8
i know it'll be gr8

i was almost l8
because of the jam at j8
the traffic was moving at a snail's r8
and so i w8 and w8

-interlude-

i got myself ready as b8
to ensnare a m8
the problem is not my w8
nor is it my character tr8s

- gr8ce + fatjojoh8d

alright! hahaha this reallyreallyreally made me feel really great. i mean gr8.

love hurts if you're hurt by love

once you've committed yourself to something, you're going to stick to it, no matter what happens. and when someone means so much to you, you end being so sensitive,and add to more hurt, to everyone, to the other party, to yourself.and then when you feel apologetic for being overly-sensitive, you end up irritating someone more and more. and then you realise you don't know how to get out of it. you want the best of both worlds, you become so self-centered, putting your problems in the limelight. when you become so reliant on something, someone, when you commit yourself to something that you've never tried before, to something that means so much to you, you end up feeling so lost too. it's so scary you know, when you can seem to be the most abundantly filled person, the most lucky person on earth, when you can feel so empty and void inside. or when you seem to be having the best of everything, the most joyful presence around, when you just don't know how to say, i'm just another human being too. and when you seem to let down that happy front, you upset others too, they wonder why you're like that now. so do ppl only like you for the bright colours that you paint all the time? what happens when you let them in to see your true colours? what if all along, you've been thinking too much. what if you're just making up all these false silly dumb ridiculous scenarios. and end up thinking so much that you ruin everything. and what if you keep everything inside, will they disappear? is there a way to flush out all unpleasant stuff? it's easy to say there is. i don't know. i'm sorry for everything. i don't even know why i'm sorry for. i don't even know why i'm saying sorry. maybe it's just a childish world i'm living in, and hoping to live in, where things always end up happily ever after.

Pris

dance night was good! but the company was LOVE (: WELLDONE LEIPINGPONGPIANG! (: we all lurbex eu beeg beeg dip dip worhx (: LEH FTW! hahahaha :D

Your loved ones

Why do we spend so much effort in thinking of the best way to celebrate our boy/girlfriend's birthday? Yet when it comes to Mother's Day they merely buy a commerically made cake, or let the date of Father's Day slip away?

Why do we msg and call, and long to see our other half so much and so frequently? But then bury ourselves in schoolwork, and careless talk on the computer locking ourselves from our parents, seldom ever asking them how their day was?

Why do we see no shame is saying 'I love you' a thousand times and more to that special one? Yet we cringe at the thought of embarrasing ourselves when we're told to say that same three words to our mum and dad?

It could be a simple handwritten card or a packet of sweets (sweetness that seeps into our hearts) yet we cherish it so much, we never let it leave out sight. But how about the food that is laid on our dinner table every night, or those clean bedsheets that we spend our nights on, or that very handphone you're using to msg your special one, have you say a word of thanks, shown abit of appreciation for the one who got all those stuff?

They all fall under the same category: your loved ones. Why then such diverse treatment?

Pris

it's so easy to get wrapped up in your own melancholic, worries-inundated, fearful world, thinking and wishing everything could go your way, and you had nothing to be upset about. it's so silly to envy others, when how do you know that others are not thinking the same way when they see you? i don't deny that blogs tend to be where i would turn to, if i want to vent out unpleasant emotions (anger, frustration, emptiness, loneliness, boredom). everyone does so.

we're becoming schizo ppl - a different face on and off the comp. it's becoming so easy to simply switch on the comp, blah out everything that is overwhemling inside you, switch off the comp, adjust your facial expressions, and live life 'happily ever after'. whenever something triggers and makes you upset again, you continue the same routine. well of course there are some who have really inspiring and thought-provoking blogs.

why don't we just share our problems with those around us? have we all become guilty of soaking up our own problems, that we've turned into people that no one can turn to? do we trust telling someone our true feelings? do we wonder if we might be infringing into the person's 'my time' by pouring out our sorrows? then what's the use of friendship if it can't even satisfy an individual's basic want to be loved and heard? or you could say that we exaggerate things on blogs. we take some minor issue, add lots of melodramatic expressions, and blow it up. are we?
or are we letting our true feelings take control? but then we fear people judging us when they read our blogs. we fear all the time don't we? live up to others' expectations, not losing our typical composure (except when with those really close ones).

life is tough. but then in what position can someone who has lived rather securely, loved by parents, well-fed, enjoying vacations, say such a thing? but that doesn't mean that we're not facing insignificant troubles. perhaps, as we always love to use moderations when asserting something, it is time for us to belittle our own problems, and YET not sink into a self-absorbed pit. how is that possible? if i knew the answer, i'll share one day. sometimes life feels purposeless, day by day we go about, studying, hanging around with friends, sleeping, complaining. work. and the same cycle goes about. is that why humans are meant to interact with each other to add colour to mutual lives? i really think so.

talking - i enjoy it. sometimes maybe talking too much isn't a good thing. but a world of silence, unimaginable. keep everything inside, judgments, criticisms, praises. just be yourself.

Pris