red sky in the evening
rolls of thunder gently rumbling across the expanse
a soulful sense of silent solitude permeates the air
as i sit and watch nature's concerto begin

the Conductor waves the baton and off the symphony starts!
a tentative prelude with rumbles of gumbles
outflashing of lights as the magic streaks across the velveteen sky
crescendo! and the pace picks up
forte! and the sounds reveberate all around
light pattering gives way to a magnificent climax

clashing, swirling, flashing, rumbling!

thunderous applause ensues from an unseen audience
flashbulbs pop where no cameras are

Thank God for His surprises
even for a rapt audience of one

(:
-

ohmy that felt so therepeutic! haha i knew i had words trying to burst out of me but were kept repressed cause of the NUMBERS and EQUATIONS that i'm currently surrounded with haha. but i'm glad i'm where i am, for everything, and that God has His plans and i'm always always always held firmly in His hands (:

praise the God of earth and sky,
how beautiful is Your unfailing Love,
unfailing Love (:

everything, You hold in Your hands (:

i love mornings, love the quietness and stillness. the solitude that one can spend, cocooned in my own thoughts, gently enveloped by the love of God. (:

i realise, when i try to run my own life, try to make things work through my own strength, i inevitably make things messier. But when it's really submitted into God's sovereign hands, He works all things out for the good of those who love Him. (:

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." - 1 John 4:18

how true. (:

teetering on the brink of the unknown
visions dance before my eyes

cascades of water rushing below my feet;
a sheer drop all the way to nothingness
scattered rocks and outcroppings to impale on;
a vortex of quicksand whirling;

when's the time to take that leap of faith?

why is everyone else so sure of what to do? how do they know how to follow their hearts?

WHAT CANT I JUST LET GO FOR ONCE AND THROW ALL CAUTION TO THE WIND

it's the heart tht's afraid of falling that never learns to fly. i dont want i dont want i dont want my fear my indecisiveness my preoccupation with wanting to know everything that lies ahead my cautiousness to rob me of happiness.

BUT HOW WILL I EVER KNOW WHEN ITS RIGHT

on the tune of avril;
why do i have to go and make things so complicated

i really really really really dont wanna grow up. the intensity of everything scares me. the resoluteness of decisions, the concretisation of events.. and i rarely use ellipses so when i do....

i'm afraid of losing myself, afraid that the core of whoever i am/was/think i am, was merely a mirage. a figment of my idealised imagination. that all that's before me is as red miasma.

what scares me the most in the world right now? making decisions.

confusing confused confuzzled

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

oh to be a truly fruit-bearing tree!

sometimes i wish i could keep my heart under lock and key and throw the key away

fling it into the deepest ravines
bury it into the depths of the ocean bed
whirled around in the mightiest of sandstorms

so i can be sure that when the key fits like a glove to the innermost compartments of my heart, it's the right key, for the right time, wielded by the right person.

i miss writing poems,
reams and reams of words conjoined in their infancy to pose as a smokescreen to my thoughts.

life's so much more complex and the world so much bigger than i ever thought it was. and i'm just beginning to realise how sheltered and blessed a life i've been living. ensconsed in my own happy bubble, viewing the world through eternally rose-tinted shades. i really thank God for how He's always held me in His hands, guided by His perfect plans.

uni's been a major growing experience. and like b said, there'll definitely be growing pains. but whatever i've been through, when i look back on them now with eyes renewed and heart strengthed, they don't seem as earthshakingly disastrous as when i was caught in the moment. funny how retrospection puts everything in a new spin and your past, present and future gallivant off into the sunset, striding along to pompous fanfare.

i think i still live in my own world where i'm the only one privy to the sights, sounds, feelings and thoughts of my own heartbeat. where sunshine seems to grace every single moment of my life (: and i really truly thank God for that (: