am i pretty?
it's such a shallow thing to ask.
it puts the person subject to such a question in a really tough position.
it's something deep down probably would have crossed one's mind.
beauty is in the eye of the beholder. yes true, but society's lenses has kind of narrowed to a specific category of characteristics of what beauty entails. it's like a checklist that contitues a pretty person. and we can't help it, as much as we don't like to be judged this way, to be influenced by our first impressions, which inevitably results in one's looks taking up a really significant portion. even if this was just a temporary initial impression.
haha i don't even know why i'm writing about this when it doesn't make much sense and doesn't seem to go anywhere. we like looking at pretty things, we're attracted to pretty stuff, we like to be pretty. as long as that doesn't take hold of your entire being, make you focus on that one and only goal, as long as you know that your friends around you love you because of who you are inside out, as long as you carry yourself with confidence, knowing that you are really really truly special for who you are, seems like prettyness isn't such a big deal.
well it does. it remains so. but to what extent would it bring you everything you wish for in life?you know that the friends whom you hang around with, share your troubles and joy with, aren't always the conventional pretty ones. it's their sincerity, their concern, their joyful presence, their words of wisdom, their comforting silence that illuminates the latent beauty from inside. and so, schizo as i sound, pretty isn't so impt right.
so am i pretty? are you pretty? i can't tell. it takes more than one glance to give the right answer.
Testify To Love (Album Version)
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
my thoughts at 5.11pm
A levels are just around the corner, at least prelims first, but it just smacks you in the face how fast time flies. i'm sure that saying has been so commonly used that we just accept that inevitably, but sometimes you just don't wish time to pass so 'quickly'. maybe i just happen to be one of the rare few that don't wish to grow up, maybe i've been living too sheltered a life to deal with a future full of uncertainties. standing at the brink of teenage-adulthood, i feel lost. just look at those friends around you bursting with ambitions and goals, and you wonder to yourself, what exactly am i living for? what is sth i would die to do? haha probably nothing, unless to save my loved ones.
i don't like to be gossiped about. haha well i'm guilty of doing it at times too, but it never strikes you how hurtful, or just irritating it can be. to be at the other end poked by those pathetic talk. well of course, as you could refer to the previous post, learn from the quote. if you've nothing better to say, shut up. it's really amazing how the human mind has a natural ability to filter out words/actions/thoughts. it keeps the not so nice ones, those that can be used in the future simply to rake up the past, and harp on it, and make someone feel bad. but how about the blessings that are showered upon every day?
what appears on the outside is almost certainly deceiving. judging people is on par with gossip. i'm guilty of that too. and so are you reading this, you're probably making some judgement of ur own. but it's so instinctive. if someone's acting unusually, there's probably an underlying reason. yes given it may be the character of the person just being plain weird, well i don't think scientists have discovered a gene code called weird right. surely then it must be an external trigger factor. so i guess until we know the person better, we shd just leave him/her alone. right. haha but i'm judging those who judge simply by saying this!
and sometimes you just feel lonely. it's a loneliness inside, an emotional kind. we've harnessed the ability to effectively shut out the inside from the outside world. focus on what's the priority now, don't let those silly feelings distract you. but it doesn't ever go away. and even when you try to confront the source, you don't know how to go about handling it.
i think really, the difference between family (parental) love, and that between non-blood related people, is that the former is relatively conditional. in the sense, you were born to this family, and no matter what, this subtle love remains. it doesn't need flowers, honeyed words, specially made gifts, special acts of service to be sustained. in fact, this kind of love surrounds you all the time. maybe the expression is more coarse, less obvious, but at least for me, this kind of love has never failed. when i'm sick, looking ugly and worn out, my mum's always there. even if i were to stay back till late into the night, my dad's always there to fetch, anywhere around the island. when i've the most embarrasing stuff to share, i've got them. perhaps i'm the one not opening up enough to other kinds, or perhaps i just don't know how to draw the line. between demanding too much and sacrificing one's wishes, discounting one's rightful place. between us and me. anyone knows how?
our mind is really the most fascinating place to be in. although i foresee the next 80 odd days will be largely spent immersed in our books, we can always count on our mind to bring us anywhere we go, and see whatever we want, and dream of whatever we hope for. so despite this seemingly not so postive post, let's always hope and know that God's faithful, and no matter what happens, no matter what troubles we face, we've got Him to turn to. that's one blessing i'm going to count today.
[if you're a regular of this blog, you probably know who it is already]
i don't like to be gossiped about. haha well i'm guilty of doing it at times too, but it never strikes you how hurtful, or just irritating it can be. to be at the other end poked by those pathetic talk. well of course, as you could refer to the previous post, learn from the quote. if you've nothing better to say, shut up. it's really amazing how the human mind has a natural ability to filter out words/actions/thoughts. it keeps the not so nice ones, those that can be used in the future simply to rake up the past, and harp on it, and make someone feel bad. but how about the blessings that are showered upon every day?
what appears on the outside is almost certainly deceiving. judging people is on par with gossip. i'm guilty of that too. and so are you reading this, you're probably making some judgement of ur own. but it's so instinctive. if someone's acting unusually, there's probably an underlying reason. yes given it may be the character of the person just being plain weird, well i don't think scientists have discovered a gene code called weird right. surely then it must be an external trigger factor. so i guess until we know the person better, we shd just leave him/her alone. right. haha but i'm judging those who judge simply by saying this!
and sometimes you just feel lonely. it's a loneliness inside, an emotional kind. we've harnessed the ability to effectively shut out the inside from the outside world. focus on what's the priority now, don't let those silly feelings distract you. but it doesn't ever go away. and even when you try to confront the source, you don't know how to go about handling it.
i think really, the difference between family (parental) love, and that between non-blood related people, is that the former is relatively conditional. in the sense, you were born to this family, and no matter what, this subtle love remains. it doesn't need flowers, honeyed words, specially made gifts, special acts of service to be sustained. in fact, this kind of love surrounds you all the time. maybe the expression is more coarse, less obvious, but at least for me, this kind of love has never failed. when i'm sick, looking ugly and worn out, my mum's always there. even if i were to stay back till late into the night, my dad's always there to fetch, anywhere around the island. when i've the most embarrasing stuff to share, i've got them. perhaps i'm the one not opening up enough to other kinds, or perhaps i just don't know how to draw the line. between demanding too much and sacrificing one's wishes, discounting one's rightful place. between us and me. anyone knows how?
our mind is really the most fascinating place to be in. although i foresee the next 80 odd days will be largely spent immersed in our books, we can always count on our mind to bring us anywhere we go, and see whatever we want, and dream of whatever we hope for. so despite this seemingly not so postive post, let's always hope and know that God's faithful, and no matter what happens, no matter what troubles we face, we've got Him to turn to. that's one blessing i'm going to count today.
[if you're a regular of this blog, you probably know who it is already]
Thursday, August 07, 2008
i think i've learnt something new today.
that no matter what, there will always be those who think you're beautiful, both on the outside and inside, and will always think you're beautiful. and then again, there are those who will never think so. and it's alright (:
time and again, so subtly present, yet so heavy a load, we think that we're not good enough. against what criterion we're pressed up hard against, we don't really know how to qualify it, but we know we fall short somehow. fall short of those who've got it all made. who know the right things to say, who don't feel so tongue-tied and socially-inept. and so we blame ourselves, and we try so hard to prove a point we don't even have to make in the first place.
i'm starting to feel more comfortable in my skin, more forgiving of what used to seem like mistakes, but were rather just unique parts of me. not wrong, not right, just a me that has nothing else to be compared against.
i don't have to feel that i'm not matching up to the standards that have been predetermined, the multitude of standards that trace the outs and the ins. what's outside and what's inside are just two flip sides of the very same door. if what i have to be is something to be proven, then it's not worth the proof.
no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - eleanor roosevelt
growing up does have its nettles and thorns, but it's amazing the lessons God teaches if we're willing to quieten down and just listen, like this sense of assuredness in Him. (:
that no matter what, there will always be those who think you're beautiful, both on the outside and inside, and will always think you're beautiful. and then again, there are those who will never think so. and it's alright (:
time and again, so subtly present, yet so heavy a load, we think that we're not good enough. against what criterion we're pressed up hard against, we don't really know how to qualify it, but we know we fall short somehow. fall short of those who've got it all made. who know the right things to say, who don't feel so tongue-tied and socially-inept. and so we blame ourselves, and we try so hard to prove a point we don't even have to make in the first place.
i'm starting to feel more comfortable in my skin, more forgiving of what used to seem like mistakes, but were rather just unique parts of me. not wrong, not right, just a me that has nothing else to be compared against.
i don't have to feel that i'm not matching up to the standards that have been predetermined, the multitude of standards that trace the outs and the ins. what's outside and what's inside are just two flip sides of the very same door. if what i have to be is something to be proven, then it's not worth the proof.
no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - eleanor roosevelt
growing up does have its nettles and thorns, but it's amazing the lessons God teaches if we're willing to quieten down and just listen, like this sense of assuredness in Him. (:
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