aiyah whatevs. WHATEVS WHATEVS WHATEVS. like siti would say, i blame it on my big t! stupid oscillations.

oh whisk me away
to lands far and beyond
when i perch on treetops, privy to the wind's whisperings
where i lie on pastures and count clouds dotting the horizon

sometimes it's funny how my future post-uni seems to have already been carved out yet my uni life is ever so fluid, malleable and formless for me and God to shape as He pleases. it's such a thrill sometimes that i scarcely can fathom the fields of opportunities that i want to take hold of. i want to explore new cities, encounter new cultures, be constantly challenged and inspired by the worlds of knowledge all around me, i want to hold on to dears who have walked me through life, i want to soar, beyond what my tiny consciousness can comprehend.

life is delicious and i thank God for His daily mercies (:

i wonder if it's possible for a major integral mindset that has accompanied me for the past 19 years of my life to be an absolute farce, an absolute lie afterall. havent realised till it hit me today as i was randomly musing on things, that i take for granted that just as long i put in the effort, success or its equivalent will be bound to follow.

when you've been told repeatedly since young that you can achieve anything and everyth you put yr mind to, and when it has always seemed to be the case, i guess it gets bewildering when hey! you suddenly realise that maybe effort's not a direct 1 on 1 function mapping straight to perfection.

ahhh maybe all along since pri sch sec sch jc, i've been too used to idk doing well enough that the realisation that sometimes, maybe, no matter how hard i may try or think i've done my best, there's an ultimate asymptote that i cant ever cross. was just talking to m the other day that maybe the whole shizz on ra-ra and hwachie is that they school into us the mindset that we can do ANYTH and EVERYTH and the world's ours for the taking and we believe and MAYBE that's not really the case?

oh i do wish i was smarter sometimes! *echoes jukie* haha

ROARRRRRRRRRR. OH TRUFFLES AND PIFFLES AND GOOBLEGDYGOOK AND PAUSE PLAY REWIND RESTART THROW ALL MANNER OF EMOTION AWAY SHIFT PERIOD SEMICOLON NAIGHN!!!

sometimes i wonder if i live vicariously through stalking my friends HAHA. looking at all their amazing experiences and adventures trundling through uni life in their assorted campuses overseas really makes me yearn for the same set of experience. the thrill of an entirely new culture, facing each day with wondrous rapture as to what new discoveries you can make, it's like pseudo-perma-holiday!

life's pretty much like those stories where you can choose your ending by switching to different story plots at the end of every chapter. but unlike those times, we cant rewind and choose another plot just to "see how things turn out". there's a reason why im in singapore, in nus and in engin and biz. and it's going to be a blast of a ride AND IM GOING TO MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT :)

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commands." (Deuteronomy 7:9)

"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect," - 1 Peter 3:15

i want to love You higher than any other being, above any other thing in my life. And times i falter, i stumble, i lose my sense of direction, but You never let me go. It's amazing how i blunder along sometimes, but i am still your sheep and You are my Good Shepherd and i'm thankful for that (:

You gave Your life in Your endless love
You set me free and show the way
Now I am found

So close I believe You're holding me now in your hands I belong,
You'll never let me go

All along, You were beside me, even when I couldn't tell,
Through the years, You've shown me more of You