SEA HIST IS OVERRRRR! :D

i was trying to shake all the seahist info out of my head i hope they all come out of my ears and make space for geepeemathphysicschemihist woooohooooo!

and today lei and i were feeling so proud of ourselves for having conquered history and having survived without emerging with our finger bones splintered that we spent a good hour in the library doing nothing!

nothing in this context is doing something extremely fun but with no apparent benefits for the upcoming As. who cares john lennon says time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted! good one

hahahahahahahahaha green and orange rankings ah! DONT HAVE FIFTEEN LORH! anyhow me hahahah <33 i love times like these ((:

heres what little kids think love is.
1. when my grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandpa does it for her now all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love . Rebecca - age 8
2. when someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. you just know that your name is safe in their mouths. Billy - age 4
3. love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell eachother. Kari - age 5
4. love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs. Chrissy - age 6
5. love is what makes you smile when you're tired. Terri - age 4
6. love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy, and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK. Danny - age 7.
7. love is when you kiss all the time. then, when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. my mommy and daddy are like that. they look gross when they kiss. Emily - age 8
8. love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening the presents and listen. Bobby - age 7
9. if you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend you hate. Nikki - age 6
10. love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, and then he wears it everyday. Noelle - age 7
11. love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well. Tommy - age 6
12. during my piano recital, i was on stage and i was scared. i looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. he was the only one doing that. i wasn't scared anymore. cindy - age 8
13. my mommy loves me more than anybody. you don't see any one else kissing me to sleep at night. Claire - age 6
14. love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken. Elaine - age 5
15. love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he's more handsomer than Robert Redford. chris - age 7
16. love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day. Mary Ann - age 4
17. when you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you. Karen - age 7
18. love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and doesn't think that it's gross. Mark - age 6
19. you really shouldn't say " i love you " unless you mean it. but if you mean it, you should say it alot. people forget. Jessica

awwwwwwwww (:

Something to have and hold
With my heart and soul
I need to know, before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
Through all my ups and downs
Please tell me now


before I fall in love

SIGH SWOON SO SERIOUSLY SPERFECT SHO SKUTE

sorry if you were expecting some more intellectual stuff haha actually yes this is very intellectual dont ask me why you have to figure it out on your own or else it wont be intellectual anymore would it? :D

when he started on bet on it my sis and i were like WOAHHHHHHHHHH *.*

hahaha and this totally sums up msn

] β ○ ъ Â и Ģ ǖ š [[ 55.5 Gang] <> says:
talk nonsense with me
] β ○ ъ Â и Ģ ǖ š [[ 55.5 Gang] <> says:
quick we're really good at talking nonsense
fatjojohead* AWWWWWWWW says:
noope
fatjojohead* AWWWWWWWW says:
YOURE' really good at talking nonsense
fatjojohead* AWWWWWWWW says:
I'M really good at tolerating nonsense

hahahaha okay back to http://images.google.com.sg/images?gbv=2&hl=en&q=zac+efron+hsm :D

HSM 3 OPENED TODAY!

only preponderant thought on my mind now is

LET'S GO WATCH! hahaha A's shouldn't have the pleasure of ursurping my entire life

everybody please go watch this work of art okay! and listen to grammy award winning singing (by zac efron) and oscar award winning acting (by zac efron)

today we had an intellectual discussion at recess about whether zacefron really sang or not. and the only logical conclusion is YES OF COURSE HE SANG DO YOU NEED TO ASK reallyreally! i can furnish you with details!

and dinner@rpa (ohh it changed into a link!) haha was good times too. i cannot remember why we were laughing so muich, but it sure felt good haha 'cause when you study history it's veryvery hard to find anything to laugh about. cause people are either lynching each other/the government, squabbling about policies, or running headlong into parang-wielding kommunists.

okay maybe not.

in any case JIAYOU EVERYBODY! it's really the last lap and we're all going to finish this race strong and as a team! (: with God to guide the way (:

/edit: ooh look at this! http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2007/10/how-to-make-macarons-recipe.html this calls for mega baking session after As!

i went to see a doctor today, and as i was in sch u, he randomly asked me when my A levels was. I replied 'one week'. Gg i just realised how soon the test of our life, the turning point that could determine the rest of our lives, the end of the race that we had been running for months is in just 1 week time.

phailz. only ygb6. phailz. whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy

i told myself i could watch a movie if i studied till 8

i studied till 720

so i watched uptown girls

but left out the credits (cause afterall, 720's not 8)

and it made me cry

but in a nice way (:

i hate it when i become sarcastic :'(

how come one mistake can continue to haunt for so long?

i wrote this in a totally different context yet it seems so aptly fitting for now

and so i'm just a face with a ruined name with apparent ties to a compass who oh! probably stalks chases and follows every single link and direction the compass points in

why? :'(

i'm plodding through history like an elephant plodding through ear-high mud. sticky mud. coagulated mud.

i've studied:
- at my desk
- sitting on my bed
- lying on my bed
- standing at the piano
- sprawled on the floor
- while watching zack and cody

i'm running out of ways to keep myself amused while STUDYING HISTORY rarrr. and i'm studying in school tmr! which only allows me to study in the first manner; which is the only dignified pose in the entire list i realise. haha which reminds me!!

i'm going to go chope MY TABLE tmr woohooo. i hope i remember to :D i hope taufik has written my name on the table. MY table! haha

okay i'm going to eat dinner and mango sorbet yum

if you dont see me studying tmr in a dignified pose, please whack me.

softly :D

live, learn.

ANNE OH.

this is to commemorate the episode of the poisoned pear. please observe a moment of silence.

emo shot #1 - grace eats her pear and her peers mope about

emo shot #2 - "arghh!! the pear...poisoned... adshkerfscn"

emo shot #3 - juks: hurry behead her, it will lessen the pain! joanne: noooooo! i cant bring myself to do it! grace: *dying*

emo shot #4 - goodbye grace....

emo shot #5 - the end... :'(

photos and captions all courtesy of juks :D wahahahaha WE should be the real scriptwriters behind all tearjerkers from now on :D

there is so much i can say, but words get in the way so-

i found the perfect graduation song! i will remember you by ryan cabrera :D and in the midst of egging someone on as a music pirate :D ryan cabrera's appearing alot in my playlists now. listen to true! and john mayer's no such thing is EXTREMELY apt for now.

-some day you'll turn your radio on, i hope it takes you back to that place

yay i love markypoo-meepok with chilli-top b&j buddy! it seems just yesterday when i was reading all of his infinitely many journals (!) and he was swinging his waterbottle as a light sabre above my head. 6 years and back, just like that.

-but in a box beneath my bed, is a letter that you never read from three summers back

it's hard not to find it all a little bitter sweet-

-and looking back on all of that





it's nice to believe-

U-Ni Go away
Applications another day
I just want my fun and play
Oh please shoo away
:(
I guess when we finally realise that our 2 years of transition in rjc has finally come to a somewhat official close, we're no longer students, teenagers who still need to be prodded to hand up our homework or to listen to the teacher. We're standing on the brink of becoming an adult, one who exercise his decision-making skills with ease and confidence (an assumed fact that does not seem to hold true for both of us) and one who is ready to leave his next. Is 18 really that old? Maybe I'm just too used to being taken care of, living a sheltered life. It just seems that a few hours of mulling over an essay, a few weeks of mind boggling applications would determine the rest of our life - our course of study, our career, our place in society, and who we are. I don't like making decisions. And ya I agree that we have been ingrained with this mindset that well surely we deserve the best? or at least near the best? surely we would be qualified to get into this and this? but when the awful reality sets in, when someone has to deliver the hammer, as mentioned by Professor X, it hurts and freaks us out. Have I been living in my own world? a world of comfort, predictability, love and fun? Regret can be an awful feeling to plague the rest of your life. But what if trying out a new experience ends up leaving you with one of the worst memories in your life? what is worse? leaving with tangible awful memories or foresaking the intangible wonderful visions? and sigh back to juggling between the many things that all seem so impt.

so this was how we all started. how will we end?

It’s been 18 years and counting. 18 years; or 6805 days, 20 hours, 5 minutes and counting. And now it seems like I’m just standing on the brink of a great unknown. The horizon’s so wide, the possibilities are endless, and it’s only now that I realise just how vastly small my decision may seem to the world but is probably one of the greatest decisions I’ve to make. Ever.

Even as I’m sitting here and typing this, I’m beginning to get cold feet and I wonder if my life is really working out in the way God would have wanted it.

What if I had never joined the gep. What if I had gone to dunman, I would most probably be in vj now, and maybe, who knows, maybe still with you. It was that sole decision in p6 that small utterance when mommy stood in the doorway of the morning we had to decide the top 3 choices that set me on the path to rg, to rj and now, where?

I look at the array of colleges, universities and just CHOICES that are waiting to be made and I wish with all my heart that I know for sure what I’m doing. Where should a humanities heart and a science mind go? And where do I go where I can still follow God’s plan for my life? And where can I go where I wont have JUST only a career for the rest of my life?

I never was good at making decisions, unless the answer was as clear as day. Pongs, I cant even decide what to eat for breakfast most of the time. I simply reach into the cupboard and hope that whatever comes out is something exciting. If not I fish around again. This isn’t really going to stand me in good stead now is it?

The sheer independency of going overseas and the utter MATUREDNESS of it don’t seem to be what I can manage. But something in me wants to try, wants to give it my best shot and PRAY and hope that it’ll be the best deicion I can make. Maybe the elite in me is too fully nurtured, maybe I think that by staying I’m not giving myself the best chance that all along has been handed on a platter to me.

Would I be able to give up all the many, infinitely many roots I’ve put out on this very soil. Plants can be grafted sure, transferred from one place to another. But pull off too many of their roots and you just see what happens. Would I keel over and just wilt?

Maybe it’s like the better decision made of the worse choices. Either I die from the sense of uprootedness, or forever be haunted by the knowledge that I didn’t try.

I feel like my mind is expanding, beyond its little walls, that though were restrictive, were at least familiar and cosy. It feels irreversible, like it’s ME in the WORLD. No longer just ME in RJC.

I will blatantly admit that I’m scared, and I’m unsure and I’m confused. But most importantly, I acknowledge just how much I cannot know, and how much God can. For it is in my weakness that He is made strong.

So let go and let God.

giving gifts

In a dark, untouched corner I kept this box of mine
Never opened, never stirred, left it waiting for years
Then one day someone took my hand
And gently opened up that box of mine
I started to discover that I had so much to give away
Once stored safe inside this box
A parcel of joy, a collection of blessings, a spoonful of saccharine sweetness
A spread of letters all penned with my thoughts (personal thoughts)
A musical box that whiled time away
This box did not seem to have a bottom
I could give (away) and give (in) and maybe in the end give (up)
Then slowly I realised it did have a bottom
A bottom I was trying to create
I wanted to stop giving, be selfish and mean
To stop myself from getting hurt
Why should I keep giving my things away
It’s mine and mine alone
But that person seem to warrant those things
The care and concern and silly little things I made
I stretched my neck, and extended my hand
I wanted to take something back from that person’s box
Maybe I did take some, but it didn’t’ seem enough for me
It didn’t seem to satisfy my inner desires
A teaspoonful of thought,
a miniscule stopwatch (that stopped time from flowing on and on)
Then we argued over each other’s box
Then I wondered maybe I should have never shared those things of mine
Maybe I should have waited to open the box later on
Maybe things might not have been the same
Maybe right now, we’re both bound by chains,
Chains that neither of us can break
It’s stopping you from giving your all
And now
Maybe I should also stop myself from emptying out my box

One year.

P.S. Really this is just a bottle of bottled up thoughts, don’t pry, don’t ask, I like to just say it out, and full stop.