give my _____ back to me

when you suddenly feel your heart plummet into your shoes
like you're on a lift to nowhere
-
to cryptically quote avril-
what's wrong with my tongue
these words keep slipping away

-

stupid tearducts i command you to STOP

STOP being a baby joannechanguaycheng

i'm so thankful for how God has walked me through the past 20 years, for all the highs and lows, for blessing me so wonderfully, for sending so much love my way and touching my life with sunshine every waking moment. (:

i'm not going to be exhibionistic and talk about every single thing that has happened haha. come to think of it, this is quite the anti-thesis of a blog. somehow announcing all the details of my calendar out on a webspace just unsettles me haha. blame it on the techno-dino that just refuses to blow away along with the last vestiges of my teens.

but i'm supremely thankful for everything, so so so so so so happy and loved and blessed (:

i know! i shall allow that one bit of vain exhibitionism, i'll post photos of bday lunchie! with daddy and mumu and meimei at say cheeze! :D soon. haha lazy to upload HAHA old alr la HAHA

i think i pendulum between peaks and troughs of highs and lows. and i still cant decide if that's a good or bad thing. the smallest things, like thinking of ham sandwich for breakfast can make me feel like skipping around the house in absolute glee, yet the most trivial of matters like a slight nuance of words can also send dark clouds thundering at my temples. dear Lord, i put my emotions and my heart into Your hands (:

i hate being so busy i hate being so busy i hate being so busy.

maybe im just pms-ing hah

i think.. i think... i may just abhor the obligations of fb haha. who the pongs has the time to stay on fb and reply msges so fast?!

and pongss i'm mildly miffed. pfft. roar. i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i couldn't make it. but i still reserve my right to say no. because sometimes saying no, just means i've priorities elsewhere.

good thing not many ppl know about this little webspace.

I'M TWENTEEN :O i'm aghast. haha. but i'm even more aghast at rhaps. or petrified would be a better word.

this was meant to be a slaphappy thanksgiving post on all the lurbex i'm so thankful for! and how i'm so thankful for every single one who's made this year's triple happiness multiply many folds over (: but that'll have to wait since..

RHAPSSSSSSSSSSS

ahhh!! i'm flipping out about rhaps. please dear God, please please take control and help us find favour with osa and get it all properly perfectly done!

i hate waking up in the mornings from a horrible nightmare. it's not so much the nightmare itself, cause i barely remember it at all. sometimes i dont think i dream in details, or even in visuals, i think i dream in emotions. a whirling kaleidoscope of flitting emotions. and whenever this happens, it always makes me feel so drained. and so disoriented, like i'm still toeing the line between the ephemeral and the tangible.

it's like somehow all the dna that makes me me, scrambles itself up and i'm coming to terms with a whole new person. ohmy this borders on schizo doesnt it hah.

but thank God for soothing mornings, and cleansing early morning smells. i just sat at my window and really watched the clouds roll by, let the sounds of the morning bustle wash around me but not touch me. sitting cocooned in my own reverie.

and i think my dream had shreds of ./a.out from CS. no wonder i felt so strange. OH CS YOU PIG TO TRESPASS INTO MY SLUMBER.

and ooh. the skies suddenly burst into morning colours. was like a switch suddenly being thrown by God (: and i commit this day unto Him (:

to grow in purity and uprightness (:

private entries tucked into an obscure corner of the entire blogsmos ftw